Lonely and tired

Lost my mum four and a half years ago and recently lost my step dad, feeling tired, lost, like all my efforts are just to keeping myself from sinking. Don’t know how to talk to friends and family about how I feel, my behaviour has become very erratic and I’m not liking who I have become during this grieving process, any advice welcome

Hello LS9,

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, I am pleased that you have joined this wonderful group of people. Of course, none of us wants to be here, within this group, you may say anything you want to say, there is always someone around who will give you sympathy and understanding. All I can suggest is that you take one day at a time, maybe your GP could put you in touch with bereavement councillors. Next week it will be 2 years since my beloved husband of 59 years passed away. I realised that he wasn’t well but I never expected to lose him, I found him on our bedroom floor, he had died. Have you anyone to whom you could turn and express how you are feeling? Grief is agony, all I can say is that eventually you will start to feel better, We are not geared up in this country to understand death, some cultures can embrace it, but we are so British that the stiff upper lip is paramount. Sometimes we can tell people how we are feeling. Sorry if I appear to be preaching, I am not. Please take care of yourself.



Hello @LS9, welcome to the Sue Ryder community.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and your more recent loss. It sounds like things are tough at the moment, so I’m glad you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here.

I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through. It can really help to relate our situation to others in this way, as we can speak freely to others who may be going through something very similar.

MaryL mentioned counselling and it could be another great way of talking through your feelings. Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. It’s free and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement. They offer a helpline, email support, counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk,

Take care,


Online Community team

Hi LS 9 what you are feeling is all part of the grief process .
I personally believe that we hold things in to protect others. But we are actually hurting ourselves by nor talking
Have you considered getting counselling, or other talking support via the NHS mental health department
You dont have to go through your G.P , you can refer yourself.
Even referring yourself is a massive step forwards and could help you open up , about your grief and feeling
Stay safe and well, if you can
Regards .Keith x