My partner died nearly 1 year ago very suddenly from a stroke. We were together for 41 years and I have no family and only one or two close friends. The stress of dealing with Probate, Funeral etc., eventually made me ill with Shingles. I have now long lasting pain from this illness and have been stuck at home on my own for 3 months (only the occasional outing when a friend takes me out or meeting someone in the village when I go for a walk) as the pain was too bad to go out and the medication took everythng out of me. Consequently I am losing my confidence in meeting people and driving. I am now suffering from depression and anxiety and keep crying. I am worried that I will not get my confidence back if this goes on any longer.
6 Likes
Hi flower garden, it is still early days for you hun, I’m four & half years since I lost my partner of 35 years, also unexpected within 6 hrs my whole life changed, I hid in the house & I didn’t want to go out, it left me suicidal, but you still need to go out , you said your unwell with shingles, and I understand, but for your mental health, keep going out, sometimes when we have to much time on our our hands we overthink, that overthinking will feel like your going crazy, your not, your grieving, grief does crazy things to your brain, hang on in there take care shaz
1 Like
Have you looked to see if any local coffee mornings you can get out to or any clubs you can join. I lost my darling husband in July last year and had very few friends but have joined a local ladies only group and met some lively new ladies who i now call friends.
1 Like
I do go to village coffee mornings but they are not that often. I have to rely on a friend to take me out because the medication for Shingles and the pain itself means I cannot drive at the moment.
I agree I overthink all of the time. I try to go out but I have to rely on a friend to take me out as at the moment I cannot drive. I do meet people once or twice a week so I am not on my own all week but it still get lonely.
2 Likes
I get lonely at night, i keep myself busy at home during the day. I’ve started knitting a blanket for something to do, im not very good or quick, but it gives me something to do.
2 Likes
I do understand @flowergarden ; I’m alone too, though with lovely neighbours and a couple of good friends. It’ll be 10 months for me on the 13th. As you can’t drive, have you thought about online groups? I go to a couple of online writing groups (you can find them for loads of interest areas) and find them very friendly; and if it gets too much, you can mute/turn off the video for a while.
1 Like
I do not have lovely neighbours and I appear to be upsetting my friends. I think they feel that I should help myself more after nearly a year. I was just about coping until I got Shingles and now cannot get motivated and am sitting at home alone. I have not thought about on-line groups. I need something to stop me overthinking about my problems.
1 Like
Have you tried music to fill the void at home, not memory music your shared with your husband as that makes the situation worse, or a home hobby, to keep you busy, mostly my friends changed after my partner died, I’m only in touch mostly by phone with three the rest walked away, must of been my husbands friends, I would ring and talk to you but don’t fancy publishing my phone number on here [quote=“flowergarden, post:8, topic:90639, full:true”]
I do not have lovely neighbours and I appear to be upsetting my friends. I think they feel that I should help myself more after nearly a year. I was just about coping until I got Shingles and now cannot get motivated and am sitting at home alone. I have not thought about on-line groups. I need something to stop me overthinking about my problems.
[/quote]
1 Like
It’s hard when you’re unwell, @flowergarden, and a year is nothing; you’re still grieving. Sorry you don’t have good neighbours. Could you invite friends round for coffee every week? - if you can’t go out to meet them, perhaps they could come to you for coffee and cake?
1 Like