I keep posting here so I am sorry about that but I’ve so many emotions going on and I don’t think I can talk about it to anyone
Mom’s sudden passing away has turned my world upside down. I have mentioned it in 100 other posts how affected I am, how devastated I am. I don’t do anything other than Posting here, reading grief books and watching after life videos.
I have an older sister and dad. My sister is caring but I think she always cared only because she thinks it’s her responsibility and mom’s life revolved around me . She immediately came to me when it happened as we both couldn’t immediately go to our home country India. She stayed with me and then took me to her place. Made me eat and everything. Now she went to India to bring our dad here. My sister is very practical. She doesn’t have strong emotions for anything. She was very close to mom but she was functioning properly right after it happened. This is because she is very strong and I’m very sensitive and emotional person. I don’t think out relationship will last longer because of our personalities. She doesn’t herself text me to check on me. She only responds to my text and that too just few words. Today I texted her and said “I don’t think you like me as a person” and all she said was “I don’t want to engage into negative conversation”.
She only cares because she thinks/knows that that’s what mattered to our mom. I have always been the protective kid and she was the independent strong kid.
I can’t talk much to my dad because he is broken mentally and physically. He is 68 and had several health issues .
I have a boyfriend who is very supportive but I don’t know how much I can share with him about what is going through my mind.
So it hurts that even though I have my family who cares, I am not able to express myself. My sister wants me to move on and remember good memories of mom and stop fixating on how this happened and why did this happen. I know she is right but I just can’t do it. I have always been negative in my life and my mom was always there to help me .
Now I feel lonely. I shared everything with my mom but I won’t have that in my life anymore.
How can I ensure my relationship with my sister stays good forever?
I am sorry for ranting but I’m going through so much and that’s why I would rather prefer death over this any day.
I can feel your sadness in your words so sorry for your loss. Its so hard to carry on without our loved ones. I don’t know what it’s like to loss a mum but I have lost my husband and my dad so I know so of what your going though . Its a tough journey that we are all on and it doesn’t seem to get any better . Sorry your sister it’s a bit more supportive but just remember the best times when you where children and your family was all together. Take care big hugs to you and just take each day as it comes. X
like life, relationships have their ups and downs.
do not dismiss these undulations in life.
bear through them … your sister will always be there for you. I think so. just do not fight because she has a right to her grief.
sadly you must enter the grief process. try not to fight it. go through and lose yourself in it because grief, like that virus, is now in charge.
it will take some years but meanwhile, you must endure.
Thanks Misprint. Brain does all the tricks when you are already suffering. I always think negative and that hurts me and my family. I will remember the good times and try to maintain the bond because my mom always wanted us to be close. Thanks for responding to me!
Hi Berit,
You are right. I think I’m overthinking and overanalyzing everything and that’s making my grief journey worse. I should not let these things bother me much.
I did text her today and we had a good chat. She is struggling too and her way of dealing with the things vade different than mine but I have seen he crying multiple times . Thanks for your message. It helped!