September, 2023
It’s taken me a long time to write.
15 weeks since the loss of my husband.
Sitting in a car park overlooking the sea. People coming and going, living their lives. Where am I in all this. Crying , mourning, walking around with sadness in my heart, remembering.
It goes on day by day, sometimes very bad others better, because I tuck the pain away and make a plan to do something. Whether it’s visiting a place we loved or shopping etc.
Reaching out to people who allow me to be me in this awful time, which are few . I’ve managed to contact with art clubs, started painting again. Small steps they say, mega ones really.I awake in the mornings and just for a second, none of this has happened. Another day to work through, up and down like a yo yo.
Life without him will never ever be the same. Something gets me out of bed,
and moving slow forward.
Well i have arrived home after several hours another day, trying to fill the time and speak to people.
All of you show your pain, thanks
for all the caring you give.
I’m so sorry for your loss. % months since my wife died and I find some days are almost bearable and some are 1 hour or minute at a time. It will apparently get easier to bear so please, like me, hang in there but I truly understand the loneliness.
Thanks for your kind words and understanding. I hope you have a good day today. The sun is shining, which helps and the birds are singing. The world goes on. Somehow we have to find a new space for us to survive in. Thoughts are with you.
I lost my husband in Febuary. It’s so hard. When I do see people I try to put on a brave face but then I think they must think I’m over it but if I’m sad I think they must think I’m depressing. Its like part of my personality died with him. I miss him so much. I dont know if things get better or you just get used to feeling numb. It’s awful and very lonely.
so sorry you’re in the club none of us ever wanted to join. I know what you mean. 5 1/2 months and I’m putting a front on to the world and still screaming inside. It takes so little to trigger me. Strictly started again last night and Janine watched it avidly. even seeng the listing set me off.
I know how you feel. I can’t watch anything that we watched together. I’m 7 months in and it’s a lonely place to be. I think dealing with loss is such a personal experience. The only thing that gives me some hope is that other people seemed to have accepted it and live with it. Its just so lonely. Even with people I feel alone. The only good thing is I’ll never have to go through it again. I’ve found it so much harder than losing my dad and brother, when you loose your other half you loose your future. I’m so sorry that you are going through this, they would want us to be ok and I’m sure you will be. We have to be bit its so very hard. My thoughts are with you,
I am sorry you are feeling so bad. No words can express the pain we are going through. I had a melt down , out of the blue, so draining.
Somehow it stops and you move on a bit. Its difficult to be with people sometimes, some understand others communication is difficult. Went to the sea again yesterday, I find peace and fresh air. Well I kid myself I do. Looking at people enjoying being out and about. I try to be positive but it’s so difficult at times. All the very best thoughts to you