My best friend committed suicide last year and I helped to carry the coffin also my cousin in America killed himself as well. I feel so depressed and alone no matter how many people I have around me. I can’t cope anymore
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With this in my head and my wife’s
mother living with us dying of mixed dementia having to be strong for my wife who is in tears most nights with no ody to talk to and Trying to explain to someone what is going on in your head when you have no idea yourself seems impossible, so I try not to burden anyone with my problems. I’m trying to hold myself together but each day it gets harder because no matter how many people I have around me that love me, I still feel alone. I’m a broken man, drowning in my own thoughts struggling to keep my head up struggling to breathe. Knowing I need help but not being able to ask for it makes the pressure unbearable sometimes 
I just want the pain to end
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Hello @Jamesp1,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling so very lonely and really struggling with your thoughts while trying to remain strong for those around you. I’m so sorry to hear about the losses you have experienced and your mother-in-law’s poor health and diagnosis. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to look at Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide - http://uk-sobs.org.uk/ 0300 111 5065. They may also be useful to you right now.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
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