Feeling very lonely, lost and empty. I lost my Mum on the 22nd Feb 2024 and my grief seems to be getting worse. She was my best friend, my rock, spent a lot of time with her, spoke every day. She was only 74, diagnosed with bile duct cancer on the 6th Feb, so quick. She said she didn’t want to die and this haunts me. Mum was fit and healthy up until Xmas then started getting poorly. it took the hospital 4 weeks before they found it as they thought it was an infection in the gall bladder.
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Hi Pipp1,
Just reaching out to you to say I am so sorry you are going through this. You have come to the right place so keep posting. You are amongst others who have lost special people so we understand.
You have to survive each day by getting through each day somehow. Main thing is to look after yourself right now so rest as much as you can and want and try to eat something every day. It will take a long time but there are lovely people on here who will help you so you really are not alone.
Love Deborah x
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I am sorry for your loss. It is such a hard thing to when your Mum leaves you under any circumstance or age. I too lived with my Mum and cared for her for years.i feel like now she is gone (August 23) I am lost and so alone. No one can know how awful the feels inside me are. It is confusing overwhelming and exhausting. The pain felt like I was homesick some how and wanted to get back to feeling ok. It was a physical discomfort inside my chest/stomach. It does on days feel a little easier but doesn’t take much and I am hit by the overwhelming grief again.
It is being kind to yourself and just taking one day at a time. I have found it helpful to send my partner emails putting down as best I can the way I am feeling as I started to resent that he was ok.
My Mum was pleading to die and all I could do is give her as much CBD oil as I could. Hospice at home were amazing but some of the moments and her words stick with me and replay. I do enjoy looking at happier times and have videos of us as a family in happier times. I am trying once a day to see her smiling happy face as it then gives me that to focus on for the day. She would hate to think I am so sad, years of worrying about her and I should be planning things but for now can only feel the loss.
Stay strong and keep talking it rely helps X
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Hi
I’ve never put a message on here just read and found comfort in reading other threads. But felt I should as the similarities between your mum and what happened to my dad were strong.
We lost my dad on 20th Feb ‘24 he was 79 and had been fit, healthy, still active until Dec ‘23 when he was hospitalised with sudden severe pain which they eventually found was a infected/burst gall bladder.
He got out of hospital and we were helping him get stronger etc.
Then jan 10th he was diagnosed with bile duct cancer. This is one of the most vile and aggressive cancers that there is. Not suitable for surgery or any treatment and we lost him in 6 weeks.
I can understand your shock. It was so fast, we had no time and dad was so ill towards the end. Caring for him at home was what he wanted and what we wanted but that was very traumatic in itself.
I feel worse now, than immediately after he died partly because I think I was just in shock till after the funeral and the reality of it is only now starting sinking in. My dad was everything to us all.
Sorry I don’t have much advice and sorry for the long rambling post. Just keep taking one day at a time and know you’re not alone.
Take care x
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Thank you for your reply it really helps to know that I am not on my own. I had never heard of bile duct cancer until. It is as you say a vile decease. Mum was also very poorly and it was traumatic.
Aww AnnaHar,
You have written exactly how I feel. It’s good to know that what I am feeling isn’t just me going through this.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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