My husband Stewart passed away on 12th April found him unresponsive in bed he was only 52 …
Grief is so difficult at times one minute im crying all the time and the next im smiling then feel terrible for doing it
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Star71,
So very sorry for your loss,
I am 19 months on this journey and know how difficult the early days are ,take care
I still struggle now ,not a journey we all want to be on,
Hope you have family and friends nearby for support,
Everyone on this forum is supportive,
Big hugs
Sue x
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So sorry for your loss, i am on month 10 and have good days and bad days. Take each day as it comes and dont feel you have to do something because its what people expect.
I am going on a Solo holiday next week, and have found that everyone deals with grief in different ways, mine is to make each day count that I have left and to do all the things we wanted to do once we retired.
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Yes I do that as well. Swing from crying to laughing. Laughing is a coping mechanism to ease the pain. Get some relief. Does seem like such a contradiction as well. I used to feel guilty about that but not so much now.
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I’m just 6 months in can’t stop crying , I just hate living alone after my wonderful marriage of 48 years. Just can’t see the future or how to go forward.
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Hi @Daisy555 I’m so sorry that your husband has died. I’m with you when you say about living alone and can’t see the future and going forward. I’m two years in and I still struggle every day. I so want things to improve because living this way is pure hell. I constantly think about my husband which would probably surprise him. I loved and still do love him so much. My heart aches for him to come home but that is never going to happen. Take care of yourself.x
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Loobyloo2
I feel exactly the same ,my husband is on my
Mind every day ,hate been on this journey
Without him ,married for 42 years,
I am also a carer for my mother,which isnt easy when still grieving ,
Take care .
Sue
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I am getting used to being alone but not used to missing him. We were not in each others pockets all time anyway.
Some days it is okay when I can feel a few positives. There are no rants when he used to get in a downward way of thinking spoiling a nice time. I now realise his bad moods part of his diabetes and suffering but he never learnt how to control himself. I used to just not listen. I didn’t have to after all. He would only wind himself up and didn’t want to be wound up as well.
Sometimes it seems about only the good bits but of course there were the not so good downs too. Like I can if I want to have it how I want it because he liked different ways. But as yet haven’t got oomph to action things always said I would if I had the chance. Like haven’t got a downstairs shower yet. But it means all the upheaval and can’t figure out how to cope with that yet.
I always wanted to move the furniture sand he hated change but the effort is too much at the moment. I would like the garden to be less regimented as he had it. Don’t know why I don’t just have confidence to go for it.
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It’s 12 months for me and I have lots of things I need to do around the house,but just haven’t had the motivation until now.I have finally got a new bathroom installed in the last two weeks the upheaval didn’t bother me as much as I imagined it was going to be.I told myself I have been through much worse than this and was quite relaxed about it so glad I did it.
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I have decorated my living room and dining room. We moved here in April last year and expected to have at least 12 months together. Cancer thought differently, and Rob passed in July. He left me a list of things to do, which I am slowly working through. The kitchen and the new front door were my big tasks, and a new bathroom is next to tackle. It’s hard and frustrating to make decisions that we would do together, but I am enjoying the challenge
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Good for you! You sound like me, I never stop. Since Feb I decorated a bedroom, including ceiling, which I hate to do, also demolished all the raised beds in my garden and transformed it. Bathroom needs painting next…
Also had to find myself a new car after I crashed, never done that before.
Hi ya everyone. I’m sorry that we all feel the same way. It has been 7 months on from my Kev. The world is moving and I’m not. It’s hard, it’s cruel, it’s exhausting but at some point I know we will have to move on and go with time. We have no choice. I’m trying to smile again without that guilty feeling inside. Our loved ones wouldn’t want us to stand still. I’m saying all of this but I’m not moving on just yet but my mind set is changing slightly. I have horrendous
days where I’m so, so sad that Kevs not here for me to hold and confide in but I tell him anyway
what’s going on in my life. We were, are so lucky to have found love in every way. Hold onto that thought. Take care everyone and be so kind to yourselves xxx
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Reading what other people have got on with things I am guessing maybe I am older at 79 and had COVID so I had that to. Ope with plus caring for my adult autistic son and three grandsons at times and helping with the allotment. So decided not to worry why I don’t have mojo at the moment after all. We all have different stages in life.