Lonely

Losing a partner
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Hi i am new here so please forgive me if i get things wrong. I lost my partner in March it’s the hardest thing I have ever been though I’m so lonely i miss him so much the pain is unbelievable I’m lost

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I am so sorry for your loss - please no need to apologise everyone here is going through the same sad and lonely journey and we understand what you are going through so please keep sharing.
Love & hugs :hugs: :hugs:x

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Can’t do anything wrong here. We all understand it’s how we feel too. Get comfort from sharing your thoughts,

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A very sad welcome to the site that no one wants to be on.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I hope you find some comfort from being on here - we all understand and have lost someone dear to us as well, so we all try and support one another through the pain and sadness.
Be kind to yourself, I lost my husband in March also and so I know how hard the past and coming months are and will be. Sadly there is no way around it that is helpful.
Just taking a day at a time helps me and I try my hardest not to look into the future as that is just a bit too scary at the moment.
Do whatever helps at this period in time
Sending some strength and a big hug xx

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Thank you all for replying.in all honesty l don’t feel i am strong enough to find my way out of this very dark and empty place
I wish you all the best

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Hi @Jcooper

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your partner that brings you here.

I’m sure others will be along to offer their support and I hope you find this community a good source of support, but I also wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone :blue_heart:

Take care,

Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team

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Hello…I feel the same…no consolation to you I am sorry…lost my darling husband 2 weeks ago after 38 years being together. I am bereft, he went so suddenly, he had lung disease and heart problems and collapsed on the bed and died instantly. I am glad he is not suffering anymore but I am so lonely and lost and I don’t know how to fill my days that were spent revolving around caring for him. How I wish he was still here needing me and me needing him I have lovely family but no one can replace his arms around me, he was the person who knew me best, my hopes, dreams and secrets. I just want him back so much it is like a physical pain.

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I am so sorry to read about your husband. It is an awful shock, even when you know your partner is poorly. I am glad you found this site, We are at different stages of loss, all ages and reasons for being here.
I lost my husband 10 weeks ago, due to a sudden cardiac arrest.
At this early stage for you I would take one hour at a time and try to look after yourself. Do what really has to be done and leave the rest for another day.
Wishing you strength and sending a hug. Xx

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Thank you for your kindness xx

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Hi @sadandlost I am truly sorry to hear of your loss, we all genuinely feel for you and all we have is words but they are sincere as we all know what you are going through, these early days are savage and you cannot see a way forward or out of this terrible place you find yourself in, there are things you have to do and organise and they do distract for a short while then you come back to the utter disbelief, pain, loneliness and longing, like many, I have found that you just do things at your pace and need, hour by hour, rubbish tv, do keep using this forum, it can and will bring you to tears but you will find a little comfort from the genuinely well meaning people on here, they speak from the heart, we are all going through the awful pain so we do understand, look after yourself, be kind and forgiving to yourself, cry, don’t try and hide your sorrow, your hour by hour struggle will very slowly become day by day, you will probably feel guilty because sometimes your pain is not quite as desperate as it was and you might feel it should be or you are somehow letting your husband down, not so, he wouldn’t want you feeling like this.
There is no time line to this, it needs to be at your pace and don’t take any notice of people who suggest you should be “over” this by now, you will never be over it but you will learn how to cope, live with his spirit being with you in your heart and mind, anything that gives you comfort is fine but don’t make big decisions now that can be made later, you might change your mind! and try not to go over and over the same thoughts or the “what ifs” “if only” you have done everything and more that you could.

I am nearly 5 months into my journey, I am learning to cope better but still have tears everyday, I do have moments of utter disbelief, I also have little times when I am more at ease with my thoughts of my wife, talking to her, experiencing what I can only call her spiritual presence whether in my heart or my mind.
I look back over the last 5 months in my mind and from what I have written down, I find it hard to believe that this actually happened and I have even survived so far, it’s long, it’s painful and I know it will always be present, I am reasonably sure that I can and will live with it and so can you.
Take care.

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How kind you are to respond to me…while you are also going through trauma and loss…it does my heart good to know how many lovely lovely people we have looking out for others even while they are also suffering…thank you x I hope your grief becomes liveable for you too.