Hi I am new here and lost my partner in July, I am feeling very lonely and don’t know how to deal with it. I have returned to work which was difficult as we worked together also. Has anyone got any suggestions.
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Hi Lynb0113
So sorry that you find yourself here. I lost the love of my life suddenly in April. The loneliness is the hardest thing; particularly if like us, you spent most of your time together.
Just take it hour by hour and day by day; and don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Post on here whenever you need to - I have found it a lifeline and however bad you are feeling, there is always someone feeling the same who completely understands.
Sending a big hug 
PS well done for making it back to work already. x
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Lyn, I am so sorry that you are suffering and feeling lonely. It is a lonely road we travel and we have do it alone and it just stinks. At this point, you can be in a crowd, a dinner with friends, whatever, and still feel so alone. The hole in your life can not be filled by anyone but your partner. We get it, we all get it, and we are all learning how to live with the hole.
I am so sorry, It’s all I have. I don’t know how to heal this kind of loneliness.
Much love.
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I lost my partner of 30 years in March and still absolutely devastated. Despite having fantastic care and support from family and community, especially initially, I am still so very lonely without him. I find it very difficult to socialise (new since he died) and therefore lonely in a crowd which leads to avoidance.
The only time I am focused and reasonably ok is when I am volunteering as a professional advisor. So sorry no help really.
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Carole, you have my deepest sympathy. We are all crawling through this mess of loss.
My husband and I were married 25 years and spent every day together 24/7/365 as we retired early. The hole is huge, I get it. We all get it.
I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Much love.
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I spent some time today looking out from our local beach and it was full of couples, old and young, with and without children, and I thought one day you’ll be like me, on your own wondering what to do next, how to fill your time.
I often wonder what couples do on a Saturday night. Are they like we were before the dreaded dementia, just happy staying in and in each other’s company. Probably they do but being on my own I often wonder if life is passing me by.
Peter
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Yes we were the stay at home couple, and I too wonder if I am marking time, rather than embracing the life and its opportunities denied to my partner. But its so very hard 
I wonder when the time is right whether reaching out to other bereaved residents of my community would be beneficial to relieve isolation and whether others have tried it
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Yes, it’s an interesting idea. I tried all sorts of groups when Bridget went into the care home and I found myself alone. Trouble is groups are obviously full of bereaved people ( of course) and the atmosphere can be a bit overwhelmingly dark.
If it’s like minded people who want to share their grief with each other and you think it could help then search around. But it could be too much to cope with when we are trying to come to terms with our own heartbreak.
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Additionally, I don’t want you to think that I’d recommend complete diversions like lots of happy enthusiast people . It’s a balance that I think it’s hard to find. That’s why this site is so valuable. We can say anything and we all know what you mean
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Additionally, I don’t want you to think that I’d recommend complete diversions like lots of happy enthusiast people . It’s a balance that I think it’s hard to find. That’s why this site is so valuable. We can say anything and we all know what you mean
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We never went out on weekends as it was always too crowded everywhere. We stayed home and since everyday was Saturday after retirement, the weekends weren’t so special.
I am a homebody by nature. My husband and I worked hard and sacrificed a lot to have this home, so why not be a homebody?
We were limited in the last few years as to what we could do as walking, standing, heat, cold, all caused crippling chest pain and my husband would be so miserable, it wasn’t worth it. We’ve seen it all anyway.
Much love from New Orleans.
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