11th November day my world turned upside down I feel nothink .
I’m barely existing not able support my two girls .
All want is my husband back can’t do life out him .try do th g totally sit lay around go blank then day is over.
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Hello @kimmyb ,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your husband that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Another good place to get support is Winston’s Wish who provides grief and bereavement support for children and young people (up to 25) after the death of someone important. They have a helpline that you can call free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays. They also have a live chat feature on their website https://winstonswish.org/ . This may be of help for your girls.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
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My Luie was 12th November so we’re the same amount of time.
I know how awful it is for you, all of us that are teaching or to this community feel the same.
I hope reading messages from others grieving helps you, it’s helped me to know I’m not alone, that I can come here and rage about how unfair this is, how I miss him so much my heart is broken.
It’s the lonely night hours that are worst, the quietest. That’s when I tend to reach out.
I hope you can find some peace,
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Thinking of you. My beloved was 22nd November, so it does feel so raw also. Beginning a new year without’ him feels like an insurmountable feat, with the year stretching out before us. I will keep linked in’ here which might anchor me a little. Sending a hug of comfort and hopes for your strength. The longing to have them back is the worst
I really feel your pain. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly on 19th November. Christmas has been difficult. They days have mostly blurred into one. I try to stay as strong as I can, as I know who didnt want to leave me and would hate to see me upset all the time. Its so hard though. My husband was 60 and collapsed at work doing a job he loved. We had a good life - sociable and varied. Finding my way on my own is going to be difficult I know - but I feel like I owe it to him to enjoy the rest of my life as much as I can - I know that is what he would want for me.
I try to set my self a small task everyday and then feel better about myself when I have done it. My brain is shot so I have a note book and write everything down.
Sending you a big hug
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I found this poem on Facebook, I think it’s very helpful when thinking about the future and how to view the wishes of the loved one we have lost. It won’t stop you raging that they’ve been taken away but I know Luie would have agreed with the meaning…
When I am gone, do not fear my memory.
Do not be afraid to speak my name or look through old photographs.
Do not be scared to play old videos so that you might hear my voice and see me laughing.
Do not be wary of visiting my favourite places or eating my favourite foods or singing along to my favourite songs.
I know it will hurt. Those memories will remind you that I am gone.
They will stab at you like a knife in an open, gaping wound. Raw, excruciating pain.
But after a while the knife will become less sharp, the wound will become less open and the pain will become less raw.
And those memories will remind you that I was here.
That I lived.
Do not reduce my life to my death.
Speak my name, hear my voice, sing my favourite songs and visit my favourite places.
Because that’s how I can stay alive a little.
Right here with you 
Credit Becky Hemsley 2022
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My darling husband was on 7th Nivember, ive never felt heartbreak like it.
The evenings are the worst the feeling of emptiness and loss. I feel guilty if i have not thought of him that day or been out with a friend.
Your lonely but want to be alone, at times i cannot be bothered to talk to any one, i know as time goes by it will get easier but right now i just want my husband by my side to enjoy our life we had planned.
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That’s the hardest thing for me, knowing we won’t get to do the things we planned.
If I’m at home with all the photos, his ashes (although I wear some too), I can cope, I talk to him, I cry for him.
Somehow being in the car is really hard for me, that’s when it really kicked in that he’s gone.
I hope we all find our own ways to cope and find our own peace. We’ll miss them forever, but I pray we find ways to keep going.
I had a necklace made with a copy of my husbands fingerprint on it, his ashes i have a small penguin urn in a glass cabinet with a copy of his service and his photo.
I have not had the courage yet, to scatter his ashes in the garden of remembrance next to my mum and my husbands father. I know life goes on but right now my life stopped on 7th November at 8pm whilst i sat next to my beloved husband. It will get easier i know that and some days i go through having not cried, but then feel guilty.
Take care each and everyone of you, we must remember we are nit alone we have all of us and our loved ones watching over us 
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I believe they are with us always