How to you cope with lonliness? After recently losing my sister Im suffering with overwhelming anxiety and can’t move on from being left alone. I have only a handful of family members and am having panic attacks that they too will die. I feel resentful when I see large families and I cant even bear hearing my friends talk about their families. Is this grief or self pity? Im really not coping.


Dear @Jan1968

I apologise for the delay in responding and I am sorry to hear of the loss of your sister.

One of the most difficult parts of a bereavement can be the feelings of loneliness that comes with it, nothing can prepare you for it.

There are a few resources by Sue Ryder I would like to share with you which might be of help and support to you.

Cruse Bereavement have advice on how to cope with the Loneliness . It would be worth having a read to see how it can help you.

If you type in the search bar Loneliness you can connect with members here who have experienced and been in the same position as yourself.

There is an organisation called Shout which may be of help to you. It is for people who are struggling to cope. You can text them on 85258 and they are available 24/7. It is a free and confidential service and the service is run by trained volunteers.

I do hope the above will be of help to you. Please continue to reach out and take care of yourself.


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Hello Jan-So sorry for your loss. My beloved younger Sister died 3 years on. I relate to your feelings of utter loneliness. I was always a social person with many friends and activities, and can say I never felt lonely. I used to feel sympathy for folks who said they were lonely. After my Sister died, I experienced a depth of loneliness that became a way of life for me. Work is a distraction, but when I get into the car to go home the loneliness engulfs me. I have friends who are lovely, but they have their own lives and families, and I admit I have become withdrawn since losing my Sister. I am not lonely for company or social activities, but for the one person who was my rock, my best friend, my confidant, my precious Sister. Like you, I feel worse when people talk about having close family and about sharing time with them. I saw a quote that said “When that one special person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.” Jan, you are not in self pity, you are feeling the immense void left by the loss of your irreplaceable sister. This is grief. Xxx Sad Sister2


Thank you for taking the time to reply. Im trying to come to terms with my sisters death, I know my life will never be the same now but I dont think I’ll ever feel joy again. As you say work is a distraction but inside I feel empty. I hope with time I will start to feel differently about life but Im struggling to even think about the future without becoming anxious. The pain is unbearable, its all consuming x

Hello Jan .
So sorry about your loss . I am the same , losing my mum 20 months ago and i’m lonely . I worry about other family members die . Even though i feel lonely i struggle to go out because of my depression and anxiety . Its grief you have not pity so be kind to yourself , all we can do is take it hour by hour . Take care .
Love Angie xx

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Thank you for replying and Im sorry you feel the same, I wouldnt wish this pain on anyone. Its so hard to look forward, I try really hard to be positive but I phsically shake when the anxiety hits me. No-one seems to understand the panic that takes over and I have no idea how Im going to cope with life anymore. How do you manage the depression? Have you ever tried counselling? x

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Hello Jan.
It is a terrible thing to live with , i have generalised anxiety so only goes away when im asleep . Ive had 2 lots of bereavement counselling and at the moment im having CBT , also taking antidepressants and it does help . Try anything that is offered to you , because its worth a try .
Love Angie xx

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Thank you, Ive recently been to my GP who has given me antidepressants but I dont feel any different yet. Im willing to try anything as Im desperate. I know its something I have to learn to live with. Bless you for sharing your experience with me, at least I know Im not going mad x

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