Loosing a loved one.

During the past 4mths myself and my partner, moved into our new house, enjoyed a wonderful holiday to cuba where he popped the question and then 2wks after our return home he died suddenly of a heart attact, there was nothing i could of done differently. I gave him cpr for 20mins but the blood clot got the better of him. He was 56yrs old.
Im now living as a broken person, in a home we started together.
Our plan was to go to the Amalfi coast in May this year so i could show him the place we where planning to get married in, i have now booked and I’m going to go with a friend, i feel sad that my fiance wont be there with me as it was our dream holiday.

Em

I understand how you are feeling. I lost my partner suddenly in May to a heart attack he was only 48. I feel lonely I feel like I’ve lost a limb. I try to keep myself busy I have 2 boys who keep me going but I miss all the things we did as a couple. I want my old life back I wish I could say it’s gets easier but I am learning to live with it. I hope you are getting lots of support
Christine x

Hi Christine ,
Im so sorry to hear about your loss.
Life is a struggle, i have 2 amazing children but they are not always at home. My son works away most of the week and my daughter is at uni in swansea. Alot of my time is spent on my own apart from when i am at work, my staff are so supportive.
My fiance took the happy go lucky part of me with him along with my smile. I know i need to adjust to not having him here but coming in from a long day at work to emptiness is hurtful. I’m used to having him waiting for me with a big smile and welcoming arms.

Em x

Hi Em
So sorry,im the same ,my husband passed March last year he was 59,same happened,cardiac arrest,i did cpr,but the damage was done.We were married for 35 years and for that i am truly grateful.I have great support from our 3 daughters,and see our grandchildren often but i live alone now as they all have their own lives.It’s a long hard lonely journey,their is no choice but to keep moving somehow.All on here know the pain of loss and the struggle it brings.Hope you find some comfort from this site,it’s helped me manage along the way xx

Hi Robina,
Thank you for your kind words and i am sorry for your loss.
Each stage in life becomes another hurdle for me to try and get over.
I force myself to get up each morning and to smile.
Its my birthday in a few days and ive asked for no cards or gifts. Last year i was celebrating my 50th with him. As each day passes i miss him more, after work today i took the hour drive to visit his grave and to talk to him and cry. Crying is all i seem to do.

Love Em x

I also celebrated my 50th last year and it was so lovely James would of turned 50 this September which I am dreading when it comes. When I got counselling I was told there is no magic cure for grief and it can hit you like a wave and knock you off your feet. Take one day at a time everybody deals with grief differently.
Take care
Christine x

Hi
Sorry for your loss
It was 7 months yesterday since my wife died she was 51.
When I’m at work I cope when I’m out with friends and family I cope but coming home to an empty house is soul destroying. I can’t say it gets any easier it doesn’t I will carry this forever.
Take care William

Thank you for your kind words, it does help knowing there are others out there that understand the pain and loss im going through.
I just wish it was all a dream.

Em x

Hi William, i know exactly how you feel.
Work does distract me and being out with friends too. I just dont want to forget about him. I feel guilty smiling, laughing, breathing and living.

Em

I still feel guilty despite trying to work out how much guilt I needed to feel before it achieved more than nothing.
I don’t know how to get rid of it but I absolutely know my wife would not want me to be held back by it.

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