I lost my dad who meant the world to me 14 months ago suddenly. Nor sure I dealt with this at the time new job came in a professional role were I needed to keep myself together and prove I could do this job. I had to do all the practical things regards funeral and sort practical things for my mum and support everyone just got a new puppy life was busy and I think it helped take my mind off it all I was just practical and organized and kept going else starting to feel like not talking about him to avoid upsetting other people is taking it’s toll as I cannot stop thinking about him and the last two weeks keep seeing him in dreams haven’t ever stopped thinking about him but the last couple weeks I’ve started feeling the heavy sadness again and holding back tears constantly thinking about him feel the Feeling guilt and anger constantly again is this normal ? am I going mad ?
Dear @Louisek
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. I see that you are new to the Community, I do hope you find the community to be of support and comfort to you.
Grief is a journey to be taken at your pace, it is not a race and there will be good days and bad days, it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. What you are going through is normal, you are not going mad.
I would like to share a few resources by Sue Ryder with you that may be of help and support to you at this time.
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. Family and friends can also use this free service.
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The self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief Grief Guide
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Information on the Stages of Grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
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There is also a blog on Losing a Parent which may be of help and support to you.
You can also connect with members here who have been in a similar situation as yourself by using the search bar above.
It might be helpful to make an appointment with your GP if you have not done so already so you can see what kind of support they can offer you and let them know how you are feeling.
Thank you for reaching out, it is not always easy to do this, you are not alone, we are all here for you.
Take care.
Pepsi
if one does not go insane or encounter madness at losing a parent, then something is wrong.
I felt insanity one night after I lost my father. I thought, this is what is means to go insane.
you cannot NOT go through grief. it is there and looming. best let it have its way with you and then one day, it will hurt less. my sincere sympathy to you. 
Hi Louise, I lost my mum 15 months ago and can relate to how you are feeling. I have been dreaming about mum a lot and feel sad how much I took her for granted. I never knew it would be so awful. I don’t have any words of advice but I wanted to let you know that I think sadly it is normal to still feel this way - it’s because we loved them so much. I hope this group helps you.