Loosing both my parents

I lost my dad in october 2021 and my mum in february 2022. My dad was my mums carer as she had dementia, my dad passed away from myocardio infarction which resulted to him also going into a diabectic coma due too the immense pressure he was under being my mums carer, my mum then passed away four months later from hosptial based pneumonia but i feel she just gave up because my dad was no longer here and her heart was broken. Its been two years since my dad passed away and nearly two year since my mjm passed away and that is me just starting too grieve, because after my parents passed away my marriage broke down and myself and my kids were made homeless and it took over a year too get settled so i had no time to even process my grief. Now that life has got bacl too normal in a sense my grief has really overwhelmed me and my anxiety has wemt thprough the roof.


Hello @Suze1987 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling like you have finally allowed yourself to acknowledge your grief and it feels overwhelming. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents and then to lose your marriage this must be such a challenging time for you. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Totally in your zone here. Lost my dad in 2009 and my younger brother 5 years ago, then my mum in july this year, then a very close family friend in october. Have lost other family members and close friends along the way too, most of them were young - mum was only 68, dad 57, brother 44, friend 50.
It has affected my anxiety and stress levels more than ever and i worry and start catastophising when i dont hear from people etc. I am trying mindfulness, yoga and concious breathing techniques, which are really helping me to just put one foot infront of the other. I do get overwhelmed easily now, particularly when i go to do anything related to mum - eg sorting through her belongings. I see that theres so much of it and i cant cope. I have also joined a virtual online support group via occulus, but can also be accessed via p.c. its called innerworld.

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Grief is hard and i totally understand were ur coming from when i look at pics or sort through my mum or dad stuff the overwhelming feelimg i get is hard j have still not properly sprted through there stuff and i also still have their ashes a just dont want to part with them.

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I hear you. I have a storage container all full of things of my mum, dad and younger brother. Thats forcing me to try to do a bit at a time, as i have a deadline when the lease runs out.
However, i also have a bedroom full of things too, which looks like a hoarder house.
I have asked for help from my sister, she only seems to want to help if its to get the things she wants for herself! There are boxes of paperwork i also need to sort through, its just too much. My sister says she cant face it, which leaves just me. Its always me that has to be the strong one for everyone else.

My sister is the exact same when i try to speak too her regarding our parents she shuts me down its too upsetting for her. But she is the only family a have left. Its left with me too deal with stuff alm the pics she had she made me take out her house as she cant bare too look at them.

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Its so frustrating! In the end i said to her how i felt. I think its made a little bit of a difference to her, but im going to keep reminding her that shes all i have left and that i need her to help.