Loosing everyone I love

Hey
I’ll get straight into it. My Dad passed away in May 2020 from cardiac arrest, my Mum passed away in December 2022 from cancer and now in 2024 my yonger Sister has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Im loosing everyone I grew up with, my family, whom I love everyday. I’m so angry this has and is happening to me and I feel so alone and scared.
Over the last 4 years I’ve had to be the strong one, the one who has been there for everyone else. I’ve been the one who has had to deal with both parents estates (which is still ongoing). Al whilst still trying to live a morma life. I feel I’ve not had time to grieve properly for either my parents and I’m not sure I can take it emotionally when my sister eventually passes away. I truly feel grief is going to hit me hard at some point. I’m just so lost right now.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

@Dan79 as someone who has been the strong one in the loss of my dad, and who dealt with his estate (including an IHT400 and its associated schedules) I know how much hard work it is.

To go through that once could send someone over the edge. Twice, with a third on the horizon is just too much.

Do you have support around you? Does your sister have a partner?

@Burgled it’s been a tough few years for sure but I know there is light at the end of the tunne. My fear is what happens next, what’s at the other end!?
My sister has no partner and is a single mum of 2. Both of her children are in their early 20s so once again I will have to be the strong one for them in the end.
I feel alone even though I do have a few close friends who i can turn to if needed and a partner of 17 years who has been incredibly supportive. I just don’t want to over burden those close to me thats just who and how I am.

1 Like

Hi @Dan79,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your parents that brings you here and that your sister has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It sounds like things are incredibly tough right now, but thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling.

I’m sure others will be along to offer their support, but I also wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that you may find helpful right now.

    • Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
      *Our Grief Guide website has information, resources and advice to help you understand and cope with your grief. It includes an online journal tool which can be a private space to explore your thoughts and feelings.
  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised support via SMS
  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can help to explain much of what you may be feeling or experiencing

Shout are also contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

I really hope you find this community helpful and a good source of support. I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take good care,

Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team