Loosing father of my son

Coping with bereavement
1

Hi where do I start :cry: on Monday my ex partner died he was the father of my youngest son who has additional needs , I was with him when he died , he was only 54 we haven’t been together for over 20 years but have remained good friends, he had alcohol dependency and this is what eventually split us up , he was a very intelligent man regarding his work but he knew that it split us but couldn’t stop , last year he was hospitalised and was a big wake up call for him but this last month I could see him going downhill, he wasn’t able to work was constantly ringing begging to go round which I did several times and others that I knew , he kept saying he was lonely so was drinking to block things out but last week it was very excessive and not eating, early hours Monday morning he got out bed and collapsed onto a glass unit which smashed and cut his arms his mum couldn’t get him up so he turned over onto knees to try get up and slumped and stopped breathing but she couldn’t turn him over to do cpr so when ambulance came he’d been without oxygen for a while, they got him going and then was on life support, when we got to hospital they said he would be brain damaged if survived but he wouldn’t and he’ll die , but it all happened so quickly, I held his hand and said I’d look after our son and a tear fell from his eye so I don’t know if he could hear me it broke me , he passed away so quickly then , I can’t sleep/eat or function properly I cry at everyone I talk to he wasn’t a bad man deep down and he would be so upset to leave our son he adored him , I’m trying to be strong for him but I’m not coping myself, I’ve had loved ones die before but not so tragic like this and I’m really struggling it’s so painful :sob:

2

Hello @Toffee ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are really struggling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your ex partner. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Alex