Loosing Husband/father

I lost my husband/ father to my children aged 5 and 2, nearly 3 weeks ago now, due to a sudden cardiac arrest, at the young age of 33. This was totally unexpected as he wasnt ill and was a very fit and healthy young 33 year old man, who was in to sport and enjoyed life. It was very traumatic, so many paramedics, doctors and police at our home, I had to perform CPR for about 5 minutes, whilst my youngest child was awake in his room, totally traumatised. The funeral directors then had to come and take him away from our upstairs bedroom. He had to have a postmortem so was in the hospital for about a week, postmortem results have lead to an inquest. I have my 2 children to suppport and look after, as they don’t qwite understand what has been going on. I sometimes feel like im drowning in emotions. I really hope things will get a little easier with time😢

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Goodness me Jessica you have had the most dreadful time and I don’t know how you are coping except that with such young children you have no option. Please accept my support and thoughts through this forum. I joined just over a month ago and have found it to be a god send , it’s a place where you can say whatever you need to and there are others who understand. Grief is a hard and near impossible emotion to understand, take things slowly and be kind to yourself. I’m sure you will get a lot of support on here x

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I’m so sorry you are going through this. I understand the shock of your sudden loss as I’ve been through it. One minute here, one minute gone, at 49, healthy fit, no symptoms. It’s so hard to comprehend and you want answers that won’t be given.

Any age is hard to cope but to be so young with two small children, that’s horrendous and I hope you have support.

I’m 9 months in and have come so far, the rawness of the pain has gone, I’m living with the reality and all I can say is, it does get easier, the grief comes in waves and those waves that used to knock you over subside and only come now and again and stops being constant.

For now, life goes on and you will be dragged along with it. Take it an hour at a time and try not to think of the future, that’s hard.

If you have any questions or not sure where to turn, reach out on here, we all have experience and may be able to help.

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Hi I’m so sorry for your loss, that’s tragic bless you. I hope you have some good support around you. I lost my husband 7 weeks ago his passing was very sudden too, he was only 44. We had been on holiday for 9 hours when he passed. Talking on here does help. I’m sending hugs to you.x

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Im so sorry for everyones loss. Its such a big shock isnt it, doesnt seem real at the moment, I still feel as if hes going to walk through the door and say its all a joke😞, we have his funeral on Monday so I think that will be harsh reality for us then. I have to keep strong for my 2 boys, I feel that they are the main priority at the moment, keeping me going through each day bless them.

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Hi Jessica sending you lots of strength for the funeral. Will be thinking of you.

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Its so harsh that final goodbye isn’t it ? It really is so hard what we go through … the grief can be so overwhelming at times - hope Monday goes ok for you - group hug xxxx

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We had my husbands funeral last Tuesday, it was a real mix of grief uplifted by the lovely things people said about him. I sobbed all the way through and after, couldn’t do anything g else but I’m so glad it went so well with do many people being there. One way or another you will get through it, with the help of others, be kind to yourself x

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Im glad it went well for you. I know its going to be a hard day but I already know that its going to be a big turnout as he was very popular, which is nice because it just shows how loved he was. He will have a good send off no matter how hard it will be.

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All the best take care and be kind to yourself x

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Yeh … true and yeh we need to be kind to ourself dont we ? Have to accept other peoples help and thank god there are still some good people around … just miss him and his love … feel like im just existing not living … xxx

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I am so so sorry for your tragic loss!! It’s so cruel and unfair… I lost my husband/father of my 3 children 8 weeks ago… he had just turned 40, was so healthy (running half marathons weekly) we were together 20 years and he was my everything, my best friend, my soul mate. He was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a day after our youngest’s 9th birthday, no symptoms/ill health? He fought for 6 weeks but sadly passed away in my arms on the 6th September… we are beyond devastated and I just can’t believe we have to do life without him… I’m completely lost… I don’t know how we’re going to do life without him…
please reach out anytime, I do find talking helps just a tiny bit, maybe not help, that’s the wrong word, but comfort in having someone who knows exactly how you feel… xx

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Your words : completely lost and dont know how gonna do life without him … i totally get that :frowning: it really is a bit like being lampooned into another world :frowning: its recent for you. Take your time and be kind to yourself. You just had a big trauma … xxx

I think when you say major trauma, grief is along those lines, I know it was for me. It’s such an unknown emotion along with trying to deal with day to day things and dealing with the other things relating to the death of the most loved one. I was trying to deal with bank accounts today, how do you close your dearest one’s bank account it’s like wiping then off the face of the earth it’s unbearable. Love to all who are going through this x

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When i had to do that i went to the bank , explained and just sat there crying :frowning: xxx

Totally agree with the bank account, Ive just been through closing my husbands and accessing his wages due to bills. Ive felt terrible doing it, feel like im closing his life down infront of my eyes and theres nothing I can do. Such a vunerable time, I feel so vulnerable at the moment, its a scary thought thinking about the future

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It is a great snap in the face, the reality of how it’s going to be, totally heartbreaking :broken_heart:

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It is a great slap in the face, the reality of how it’s going to be, totally heartbreaking :broken_heart:

I used the gov.uk website to access the “Tell Us Once” facility. As the name suggests, you fill in one single online form and they take care of anything government or civil service related - driving licence, tax, benefits, passport etc. It’s good that you only need to go through it once, but I completely agree, it feels like you are slowly deleting them.
I have to say though, the vast majority of people who I have dealt with for closing and transferring accounts have been amazingly compassionate and supportive - NEXT, M&S, Sky, Aviva, Vodafone - take a bow. AXA and NS&I, hang your heads in shame - you will never get another penny of my money.

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Yeh but you cant do that for bank accounts ! Its is awful doing it :frowning: xx

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