i lost my husband 5 days ago and i am reading all these posts in the hope that someone will tell me it will get easier but that doesnt seem to be the case, i am totally alone no children and now just wondering what is the point of living another 20 + years sad and alone
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Hi @Littleburty,
I am sorry to hear of your loss just a few days ago.
I lost my husband in January. The first few weeks and months were busy with all reporting etc but when that all stopped I also wondered what’s the point, like you I have no children. I have family and friends I can reach out to but they are not on my doorstep.
I was caring for my husband so now I am job hunting, updating my computer skills to help me get a job as well as volunteering. Everyone says that it is still early days and I have accomplished so much so soon but I don’t feel that right now.
The only thing I can really say is grief has no timetable or time limit and that time allows you to learn to live with it.
Take baby steps, see as much positivity in your day as possible from getting out of bed each day, getting the pile of dishes washed and so on.
If you can, get outside and walk, meet pals for a cuppa, do something creative, drawing, painting, knitting whatever you’re into.
Don’t be disheartened, everyone is different. Although I am sad and low now, I feel that if I keep putting one foot in front of the other I will come out the other side with strength and pride carving this new path for myself.
You will get there.
Sending you a great big hug 
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I’m so sorry for your loss @Littleburty - it is so hard those first days and months.
I would just reiterate what @Slinkey has said so well.
This site is great for getting support and kindness and can help to make you not feel so alone.
In the early days I just wanted to find some hope that I would cope and that life would get easier. And there is hope I promise, no matter how dark it feels for you at the moment.
This site is predominantly for people who are struggling and need support in their darkest days, which is why I suppose it often feels negative, but there are also many posts from people who share their journey and progress, and how things have got easier. And there is some humour in here too which may or may not help you.
Just one day at a time and little steps to keep you moving and not stuck in your grief.
There will be lots of ups and downs -
mostly downs at the moment sadly - but things do get easier and we can work towards carving out a different life.
Sending hugs and strength to you xxx
I lost my husband my best friend 24th October we are still in shock & disbelief he was only 59 fit & healthy although between us we have 5 amazing kids I just feel so alone
Sharon
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Thank you, im just searching for something that will make me feel more hopeful i know it is very very early days. i want to relate to people who understand , as wonderful as my friends are being they are still couples and dont get it
Sharon just take it a day at a time.
It’s so hard to understand when they are young and healthy.
Kids are a joy but their grief is hard to handle too as well as your own grief.
Make sure you look after yourself and be kind - dont expect too much of yourself and try not to think of the future at the moment. Keep posting here A there are lots of folk in a similar situation who all understand and offer kindness and support with no judgement.
Sending some hugs and strength xx
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