My beautiful lovely mom died two days ago i lived with her all my life. My heart is broken i cannot go on i want to be with her. I have this terrible pain inside that i cannot get rid of she s everywhere in the house. I am going to be honest i do have the will to carry on. I wish to god i do not have to wake up in the morning! I know its wrong but i cannot see any purpose in life no more!
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Hi @David1960xx ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really heartbroken.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, @David1960xx , get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Alex
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I am so sorry for your loss. I am 53 and lost my mum aged 90 in May. She was my world and I had lived with her all my life. She had been in a care home for the past 12 months of her life and I visited her every day. You will be experiencing every emotion there is right now. Just take it hour by hour. It is unbearable. I know what you are feeling, because I’ve been there. It is impossible to feel that you can go on. You just basically want your world to end too. Just let every emotion out. It hurts like crazy, but eventually it does just get a tiny bit better with every week. I am so very sorry. I kept myself busy and distracted, even the day after she died, although keeping busy is so hard because your mind will focus on nothing else but ‘her’. Life is so tough. Do you have other friends and family who can support you? xx
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I do have my brother who lives with me but he has his on way of coping. I just want to keep holding her hand never let go tell her to wake up you have things to do. Why do i have to carry on? When animals can be put to sleep if they are in pain. So why can i not have the right to be with my mom?
Hi. It is so very difficult. Obviously your brother has different ways of coping. We all deal with grief differently. There is no wrong way or right way. You are right in the throes of grief now, only a few days ago she passed you said. Remember she is at peace. You still have all the beautiful memories of her. She lives on in you. And I believe she will guide you on. Stay strong and remember to be kind to yourself right now. You are hurting right now in every way. Give it time. xxx
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I will but its so so difficult its worse feeling in the world. When does the pain stop???
Really having a bad day i cannot stop crying i am aching so much. Oh god why could you not take me to. Why leave me here to grieve so much. What is the point. Nothing matters no more!
The pain you feel is awful @David1960xx I know it well. My mum passed away in my arms 2 and a half month ago, after a short traumatic battle to get better in hospital. It was awful, she wanted to live so much, she wasn’t ready to go, had so much life left to live, and was my only close family. I’m 32 so now have to contemplate going the rest of my life without her love and support and friendship. It’s agonisingly lonely and sad. But people on this forum understand. I don’t think our grief will go away, but it may not always be this raw and gut-wrenchingly painful. I’m sure our parents would want us to carry on living, however hard it is. Take care x
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I lived with my mom all my life. I can see her everywhere i can hear her. I know how you feel its so very hard. I pray that i will not have to be on this earth much longer. I know its so wrong to say this. I did not know how powerful grief can be