Loosing mum

Hi I’m 56, have 2 sisters and a brother who have their own homes.
I live in the home I grew up in with the family. We lost dad to pneumoconiosis in 2016, and we lost mum in August this year. I feel like an orphan now. I’ve lost not only my mum, but she was my best friend/ soulmate. I cared for dad 2 years before he passed away and then cared for mum for 4 years before She passed away, so for 6 years I was kept busy and enjoyed looking after them. But now I’m lost, can’t sleep as I can hear mum shouting me to see if I’m awake and the house is so empty. What purpose is there now. I’m long term sick with a leg injury.

Dear John May, I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mum, it’s always horrible losing the one person who has been your life for ever ,and loved you regardless, you must feel bereft and rudderless, there is no right or wrong way to get through this, I hope your family is supporting you, just take one day at a time, some days will be better than others, sending you love xx

Hi john, so sorry to hear about your loss.
My mum passed away yesterday (the big C), iv’e been my mum’s carer for the past five years, now i’m just rattling around in the house, the house feels so empty now and the silence is deafening, sometimes when i nod off i’m suddenly awakened by her shouting me like she used to do, i feel lost too and don’t want to carry on without her in my life.
I know there’s nothing i can say that will make you feel any better, just take one day at a time, spend time with friends and family when you can, you’ll get through this difficult time as we all must.

Hi Veiled so sorry for your loss. Your the same as me rattling round in an empty house. When I try to sleep I can hear her shouting are you awake Sue.
We lost her 10th of August and I wasn’t relieved but I took comfort knowing she was with my dad were she wanted to be and not suffering. She didn’t have C she had heart failure through copd. She was in hospital when she passed away and luckily they let us stay the 4 days. But I’m waiting for her to come home, the heart break has just hit, knowing she’s not coming home.
Are you on your own? An only child? Much family??
Regards Sue X

Hi Jude the pain is getting worse not better. I’m waiting for her to come home from the hospital we’re she passed away, it’s just hitting she’s not coming home.
Love Sue Xx

Hi john-may, unfortunately i am on my own now, i don’t have any siblings and i haven’t seen my friends in years since i took on caring for my mother.
I’m no stranger to grief, but this has hit me the hardest, my dad left when i was 9, my mum never dated or remarried it was just the two of us against the world, we had our ups and downs but always reconciled in the end.
At least i got some time to sit with her before she died, the care home was wonderful.
She was a good mum and friend, i’ll miss her greatly .

That must be hard for you!
Luckily and I do mean I’m lucky that I had a loving family up bringing.
But loosing my mum has hit me real hard. I’m not sleeping, struggle to eat and drink.
But my gp surgery has been very good with help and we have a councillor whom should be ringing me today or Monday. I’m from Derbyshire we’re about are you from?? Do you work?? I don’t as I’m long term sick with a leg injury.
Sue Xx

I’m from Cheshire, no i don’t work i was made redundant in 2015, at the same time it became clear my mum could no longer take care of herself, someone needed to be there 24/7, she’d had several falls already so it was either put her in a home or i take on the role of full time carer, which i did.
She’s been my world for the last five years, can’t say i’m looking forward to getting back out there and trying to find work at 50, the covid thing makes it even more difficult.
Regards Vince

It’s got to be hard going to look for work, like you say with this COVID.
I’m not prying but if your on esa and got carers allowance they can increase your payments, so I was told.
Our County Council have a welfare rights section who look into it all. Have you tried going down that way??