Loosing My Father

On Thursday 1st September 2022 at 14:57, I received a phone call off my aunty to say they found my dad in his flat on his floor. He had a fall and potentially another stroke. They called an ambulance and my dad got taken straight into hospital. At this point, he could open his eyes a little bit and he could nod.
At 19:33, my worst fear was confirmed. My dad had another stroke but also had a bleed on the right side of his brain. He was transported over to a different hospital where they specialised in neurology.

On Friday 2nd September 2022 at 13:19, my worst nightmare was confirmed. My aunty called me to tell me my dad had less than 24 hours to live. Of course I went straight up to the hospital so I could be by his side.
All of our family came to the hospital, talked about their wonderful memories with him and finally said their goodbyes before leaving. I stayed overnight as I knew I wanted to be there for when he finally passed.

It was the worst 19 hours and 39 minutes of my whole life. Watching my dad lie there unconscious, having multiple seizures and being so restless during the night. I was literally watching my own father pass away right in front of my eyes and there was not a thing I could do about it.
His last seizure, his eyes opened and they followed me from the middle of his bed to the top of his bed. I stroked the right side of his face and he stopped fitting but his eyes were still open, still looking at me. I kissed his forehead and his eyes finally closed. Knowing the last thing he saw was his daughter really has gave me so much comfort in all of this sadness.

On Saturday 3rd September 2022 at 08:58, my gorgeous father took his final breath with me and my younger cousin next to him. He finally found peace and joined my nana and grandad in heaven after over a year of mental and physical pain.

Selfishly, I’m broken, I want nothing more than my dad to be with me in person, to be able to pick up the phone and just talk absolute rubbish about anything, everything, anyone and everyone.
I know he is out of pain, no longer suffering and is at rest.

I am so overwhelmed with peoples posts and comments on social media, all of the lovely memories and kind words everyone has shared about my dad. I’m so grateful for every single person who has reached out I really am, I just don’t have the energy to respond or even read some of the messages.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this I really don’t but I know I have so much support around me and I know he’s looking over me in heaven with my nana and grandad however I feel so alone.

Hello @amy0309, thank you for bravely starting this thread. I am so sorry for the loss of your father. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship and that he is very loved.

I am really glad to hear that you have support around you and I hope you find the community to be a support too. Our members have all experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you’re going through. You are not alone.

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my wonderful daddy in June 2022. I was a only child, and a daddy’s girl. I have a ton of support too, a wonderful husband, and my family and friends. I feel alone as well. For me I think grief is a burden we have to carry alone, but get help on this wonderful site, and lean on family and friends. I am here if you want to talk. You are definitely not alone! Be kind to yourself during this time.

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