loosing my hero

I lost my mum to pancreas cancer last September. This is the hardest thing i have had to go through in my entire life. The pain is unbearable, especially when you have no one else to turn too. I have one sister who hasn’t spoken to me in 3yrs and states she won’t even with mums death. Im struggling with my Mental health. Im in a dark place and can’t seem to get out. My doctors have put me on medication but they don’t seem to be working, I just feel like giving up


Hi Kiki… I am so terribly sorry for your loss, and it sounds like you don’t have anyone to lean on right now… but this is why this community is here.

My mother was my hero too, I told her often :slight_smile: It sounds like we have both been raised by very strong women.

Are things with your sister completely over? Is there anyway you can reconcile? I ask as just after my Mum passed away 6 weeks ago, my brother and my neice were due to go home to Sweden after being with us to care for Mum since beginning of March. We had a huge row, whereby he shouted and kicked off at me and my sister, and we’ve barely spoken since.
Since then he has called my sister to apologise and say hes sorry, he didnt mean any of it, and his actions were disgusting.

I am planning on speaking to him soon, but at the time… I never wanted to see him again. But life is so short, as we are often reminded of…

If there is still any love between you and your sister… give it time and maybe you can both have space to speak?

Do you have any friends at all, at least one trusted person who you can speak to?

Thank you for reaching out to me. Me and my sister haven’t spoken properly for nearly 3yrs. I have tried everything, I’ve held out the olive branch and beg for her forgiveness but she’s having none of it. She has made it clear that although mum has passed things with us will not change. She said she needs time as she is very angry and grieving for mum. I dont have friends, mum was my friend. My life was mum, work and home. I have a neighbour but she has mental health issues too, so I dont bother her. I feel completely alone and afraid, my anxiety is all over the place. I need help

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Hi @Kikiro5e78,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I can hear the pain you are in and want you to know you are not alone.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot have thoughts of not wanting to go on when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:


There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of not wanting to go on become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

Medication can take some time to work. If you’re not finding it helpful, please do speak to your doctor. There may be something else that you can try.

You deserve care and support so please, @Kikiro5e78, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,

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Thank you for your message. Im currently taking antidepressants and I’m on my 3rd week, I’ve been told I should start feeling better between 4-6wks. I just hope this is true as I’ve been crying out for help for so long. Im in this alone. I just hope God answers my prayers cause I really can’t bear this no more. I will be speaking to my doctors tomorrow in regards to my medication

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Hi Kikiro. I am so sorry for your loss. At my local library there is a monthly meet up to talk to people who are also grieving. Is there anything like that in your local library or area? I lost my best friend suddenly and i find writing in a journal helps. I also got councilling which helped too. I wasnt sure if the doctor recommended this for you.

Sending you so much love and hugs. I hope in time it will get easier.

Thank you for you message. I will see if my library does anything like yours, this will definitely help. Tbh, I just want to find a group in Leicester were I can speak to people who ate going through the same things as myself

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