Loosing my husband

My husband also died due to undiagnosed kidney cancer. They call it the silent killer because there are mostly no symptoms. My husband thought he had only a stupid tummy bug and that he was overworked. After a good rest, I will feel better, he said. How wrong we both were. The kidney cancer spread already to other organs and it was stage 4. The coroner said it is very sad that I was traumatised by the way how he died but I was with him and he was at home and not in a hospital receiving painful treatments. I was shocked that it was kidney cancer because my husband died so quickly that I thought he had a heart attack. Please, do not feel guilty, there was nothing anyone could do for your husband. Sending lots of love and hugs.

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Please don’t feel guilty. You weren’t to know that would happen x

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@Martyn2 I know but wish with all my heart that I hadn’t. Really not sure how to live with this guilt which seems to be coming in waves and cycles. Xx

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@Annaessex thank you for your kind words. Kidney cancer is a silent killer though my husband had back pain, started to lose weight and the last few weeks had about 5 night sweats and slept more. 20 months previously he had a nasty fall and smashed his elbow to pieces which mask his symptoms. He was working up to the day before. So very cruel xx

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I keep thinking that i should have seen the signs of pancreatic cancer with sue .looking yellow and itching. Just feel like I let my gorgeous fantastic wife sue down x

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You’re right the image will stay with us. I just keep thinking why? He was fit and healthy. I’m so sorry for you loss too. Take care x

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I think whatever/however things happen we are all still going to blame ourselves and think could we have done something different. We all think we have more time but unfortunately we here know that’s not the case. I’m sure you did everything you could. Take care of yourself.x

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I’m so sorry for your loss. We all think what if? why? should have? We torture ourselves. The main thing is that you and your wife loved each other. That’s what I hold on to. Painful though it is.

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That’s awful. You weren’t to know. I’m so sorry.x

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I’m so sorry. Sounds like you did everything you could.x

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Hazel1966 please don’t beat yourself up over it.no you didn’t kill your husband. You have to think what your husband would want to do. Carry on and honour your husband by fighting for your life. Also remember that your husband is always nearby xx

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