Loosing my husband

Losing a partner
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Hi all,
I just lost my husband on the 10th of this month so I’m 13 days in this whirlpool of sadness and unbearable pain. We were together for 30 yrs and did everyone together. He was terminal with cancer and i nursed him for the last 3 months. He slipped away in my arms with two of our children there and the comfort of the hospice team.

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Hello Camdilion,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Rhi

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Oh my such a sad time and so recent.just take care dont rush dont worry about anything just take tiny steps…its so unreal …so blunt so horrible to be in this place just keep pisting this place is amazing .rest as much as u can and sleep wherever

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Thinking of you Camdilion in your loss and pain. I am four weeks in and the toll on our hearts is immense I know. This forum is a real and authentic supportive place with people who have first hand experience of this excruciating whirlpool’ of emotions who know how to validate one another without judgement or dismissal. Be gentle on yourself

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I too lost my husband 16th of dec so only a week in no illness and has yet no cause of death just the deep feeling of loss loneliness and anger and a need to know why

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Dear Nettie2. I am so sorry indeed for your very recent loss of your husband. What a s devastating shock for you. I do hope you receive the very needed answers you require without delay. The loss and loneliness and all other emotions are entirely valid. I do hope you have a support network surrounding you. This forum has been a necessity to my world since my dear husband’s passing and I think you might find the same. Take good care and keep posting

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Thankyou it is safe to say i was devestated when i found him laying on the floor it would also be his birthday on dec 29th he would have been 58 also on dec 18th it was the 1st anniverarsy of my sisters death too

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The worst shock for you Nettie2. My husband would have also been 58 on the 5th of this month. You are also post 1st anniversary of your Sister’s passing too. So much for your heart to hold. I wrote a little card for my beloved husband’s birthday and I will place it every year now for all his birthdays while I walk this earth. I also had a birthday rose for him which I have since pressed. Christmas doesn’t figure for me at all, I am just breathing through the minutes, hours and days, it’s all I feel I can do

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Pooka1968 i am so sorry for your loss too do you have family and friends around you i have both and many invites for christmas dinner but i just want to be alone dont want to spoil it for others i may hear from coroner tomorrow if so at least i would know the why how do you handle things one day at a time i suppose

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I am choosing to be alone for Christmas Nettie2. We had no children, it was only ever the two of us. I have some thoughtful friends, mostly at a distance. As we are newly married this year following his diagnosis I am not really rehearsed in the rellie’ thing despite us being life partners. I really don’t know how I get through the days, I suppose it’s autopilot and survival but every day I feel one day closer to being with him. I sit on our adopted’ bench in the park, talk to him and keep a journal. We viewed a little house for me and Nigel cat together which gives me something of a future focus but generally everything feels pointless and meaningless. I am sorry I can’t give a more coping’ light on things. One thing that has been shared on this forum is a book entitled “It’s ok that you’e not ok” by Megan Devine. I am glad it was recommended. You might like to read it

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This was both our 2nd marriage we had 26 years together 24 married on sept 2nd we have 3 small dogs they too are grieving they dont understand why hes not here ive had the car moved because i dont drive also since lockdown we havent been away without the girls so no more holidays now but yorkshire is a beautiful place any way please take care of yourself and i would like to think a friendship may grow through our shared misery because unless youve been through this they dont know the utter loss and sadness you feel

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I am in Yorkshire

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