loosing my mam nearly a year ago

Hi not sure where to start really I lost my mam to cancer last may after a 10 month battle. I’m just really struggling to cope. My mental health is really affected by it all.

Hi Kimberley
You have come to the right place.
There are a group of us that chat every day that lost our mums last year. A couple of the group have list dads too. All of us are between a month and 9 months into our journeys and none of us are coping well.
I am confident in saying that this forum has been our lifeline. My mum died of a sudden brain haemorrhage in June. She was perfectly healthy (or so we thought) until the day she died. It has bee the biggest shock and the loss is just indescribable.
It’s still such early days and if you are anything like me you are probably feeling pressure to start getting better but you arent which in turn makes things worse.
I suspect we have a long way to go before we do.
Cheryl x

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Hi Kimberley, I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum suddenly nearly 5 months ago of pneumonia and a heart attack. I’m still shocked by the sudden turn of events.
Glad you found us. The people on these forums are lovely and kind. It’s a wonderful place to get things off your chest.
Take care. x

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Hi Cheryl
I lost my dad to a accident nearly 12 years ago, 2 days previously to that my mam had a stroke so I looked after her since then, she had other illnesses within the 11 years but got told she had cancer back In August/September time and that it was terminal, but she went through chemo and it shrunk it dramatically then since her radiotheropy in January last year she wasn’t the best, few weeks before she died she went to hospital with stomach pains and just went down hill from there. I feel so guilty, the last words I said to her when I went to see her after she passed was I’m sorry. I’ve helped her with cops, her strokes, mini strokes. Was her carer for 11 year, I have 2 kids who have been extremely close to her, one of them is autistic so I had him to deal with aswell. I have thought so many times about just ending my life, I can’t cope with out her and I know people will say think about your boys but my mam was my life aswell and I can’t live without her. I have bipolar and I’m struggling to get any help from the mental health team so that ain’t helping me aswell. Everything was easier when she was here.

Gosh daffy nearly 5 months. Its unbelievable isnt it x

Hi Kimberley,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

You mentioned that you’re in touch with the mental health team. Have you asked them or your GP if you can be referred to bereavement counselling in your area?

Carers UK offer information and services for carers, including an Advice line (0808 808 7777) and an online forum. This is a link to a blog on their website from a carer who was recently bereaved: https://www.carersuk.org/news-and-campaigns/features/hidden-issues-when-caring-ends

You deserve care and support so please, Kimberley, get in touch with one of these services.

If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,

Hazel
Online Community Team

If feels more like 3-4 weeks. x

Hi Kimberley
Stay with it. You are doing so well. Its so tough being without them and I’m struggling with full time work, a 12 year old to look after and a house to run.
You will get there. We both will.
Cheryl x

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