Hi all, I lost my Mam in July and I’m struggling with certain days. One day I will feel ok and just get on with my work but lately there are more days that I feel very low and can’t lift myself. I am so sad.
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Hi @Michael1963 so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum in May this year and I feel just the same. I’ve been posting on here more or less since then, I’m truly devastated she was my Mum and my best friend. I wish I had an answer but I think as you’ll see from postings on here we are all in the same boat. I don’t know when I will feel any different. I’m on autopilot, carry on doing things, working but inside feel so sad and low. First of all, have you got some support around you, someone you can talk to? you could try visiting your GP or see if there’s a Sue Ryder Grief Kind Space near you that you could drop into. People say it’s a matter of time but honestly this grief for me is like no other I have ever experienced. I’m sure more people will reply to you Michael, keep posting on here there’s so many on here to listen and support.
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Thank you for your reply, I haven’t really spoken to anyone as I’m not really good with words. I have a good friend who has been very supportive at work but still struggle. I’m constantly told the things will get easier with time but it doesn’t feel like that with me. It’s taken me some time to come on here but reading some of the messages gives me some hope that things will get better.Thank you again for your message I appreciate it.
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You’re very welcome I’m sorry I’m not more help. I know what you mean with people saying it will get easier in time. I know each person’s grief is dependant on what their relationship was, how close they were to the person. If you had a really strong relationship with your Mum and saw lots of her like I did there’s massive holes in your life now. I’ve read that your brain needs time to re-map. I’m still triggered within 1 second of a thought into crying I just can’t help it.
You could also look to get some counselling, someone to talk (and cry if you want) to might also be helpful for you. I’ve had some and found them really beneficial. Even when you’ve got support around you, talking and crying to a professional I felt was helpful. I talk to Mum every day, lots of people on here do, whatever helps you. Look after yourself, try to keep eating properly and try to get outside for a little while, a walk in nature most people find helpful. Sending a hug.
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Thank you so much, I thought it was only me talking to my Mam everyday. I will take your advice on board and maybe when the time is right I will consider help. I think it’s still raw for me and emotionally it doesn’t take much to let my guard down and cry. I think that it was the fact that Mam was even more special to me than I could ever imagine and it hurts. Thank you for your kind words of support and the hug, I was always giving Mam hugs. You take care and make sure you look after yourself.
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You take care, keep posting on here it’s always somewhere to turn to when you need it.
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Hi Michael
Sorry to hear of your loss
I lost my mum nearly 8 years ago this November 2016.
You’ve come to the right place. People here will be supportive and help you to deal with your grief. It’s certainly helped me. I’ve learned not to let my grief consume me as much as it used to. I feel a bit more like myself. I still have my bad days but more good days
You take care
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Thank you for your message Steven people on here have been very supportive, I’m still trying to get my head around my grieving but your words have given me hope going forward. Thank you again, take care.
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I can relate to that I lost both my parents within 9 and a half weeks of each other and I’m on autopilot most days , most days I’m so low I cry constantly it doesn’t feel real like some days for a split second when I wake up in the morning I foget then the tidal wave of grief hits me all over again. You are not alone x
Hi @larkygirl,
Losing both your parents in such a short space of time must be so hard to cope with. It’s devastating losing one parent at a time. I can relate to the autopilot I’ve been like that for the past 4 and a half months. Lost my lovely Mum, she was my best friend, she was a huge part of our family life. Miss her so much, I cry every day and am just on autopilot carrying on, I have a family who need me. I think a lot of people just expect you to be yourself again after a short space of time. I’ll never be the same again, just a different version of me.
Back to you, have you got some support? Is there someone you can talk with and cry if you feel like it. At a time like this it makes you realise you do need some good support.
How long is it since you lost your parents? Being able to post on here makes you realise you’re not alone. If I hadn’t posted on here I’d have thought it was just me with this painful grief.
Sending you a massive 
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My mum was my best friend too and I miss her soo much it physically hurts my heart i never knew that was possible 
I do have a great support network my husband and children my grankids keep me going. I lost my dad on 26th april and my mum 2nd july it’s just been devastating. Same as yourself I will never be the same person again, I’m struggling to cope with the grief it’s overwhelming at times. What about you do you have a good suppirt network? Sending 
xx
@Larkygirl
Hey, I’m pleased to hear you have some good support. Yes, I have my husband and my two grown up kids. They are there when I have my daily melt downs. They miss her too they all had a great relationship with her, they comfort me, she was my Mum, my everything, always there to support me. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, it’s life changing isn’t it. I’ll never be the same again. X