I lost my wife she was only 57 suddenly,
I went back to work to keep busy,five years on I’ve had to give up work to ill health
so you got to keep on going to keep they them memories alive
John,
My wife was 56 far too young
I think you are correct that you have to keep on going to keep there memories alive.
In my case I tell everyone when ever I can and always will.
Now I am her voice and will never shut up.
Love her and miss her till I myself pass
Hi Steve,
I’ve just lost my wife to Leukaemia after a 10 month fight. She was young too, at 62 and I’m still very raw like you probably. I ask myself why her, what am I going to do etc. I’ve decided to give up work as I’m intent on living the rest of my life whilst I can. Have you looked around for hobbies, support groups etc… I’m only 61 and it feels terrible calling myself a widower! I filled in a form today and it asked Married/Single or in a partnership! No mention of us widowers/widows
Don’t give up please -I’m only just starting the grieving process but I often find that talking to my wife helps even in my head, I put photos up in all sorts of places! Trying thinking what would your wife say. look at a photo when you say it… It may make you cry, as it does for me, but it helps afterwards as you’re still in touch! my neighbours think I’m mad probably and are getting ready to section me! If I can help, feel free to contact me…
Derek
I know it is not the same. My cousin died very unexpectedly and I didn’t get to say goodbye. I am not sure if the essence of what I felt and still feel is anything like how it is for you. It took me a long time for life to reorganise itself into a place where I could assimilate the fact he was no longer going to be a part of my life. As I said it is so very different for you but I think I can connect to the suddeness, the abruptness of it all. I just want to say thinking of you and that what you are going through is completely understandable. Sometimes one cannot make sense of loss. No advice, just sending love and know you have a support network here x x
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Derek,
I talk to my wife each day normally out loud.
It helps some what, I also cry a lot it also helps.
My self I have gone back to work now but part time, this helps stop the constant thinking about her, partially.
In reality I want to think about her/us as I remember all the excellent times we had.
I am similar age to you 62 and agree it’s shocking to be a widower, at least I know she did not have to go through all this pain and grief as we do, it’s little consultation but she would not have been good at it ironically neither am i
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Derek,
I forgot I am sorry for your loss
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My husband died very suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 52 earlier this year. Neither me nor my lovely hubbie had any choice in ending up in this awful situation so on forms I tick married.
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Good for you! We are still married in my opinion. We didn’t divorce or anything like that!! I hope nobody asks me because I’ll politely tell them the reason and they’ll probably feel embarrassed or awkward! It won’t be my intention to arrive at that but we’re the forgotten ones aren’t we….
Thanks Steve……
DerekG,
You are absolutely correct with the status still married, that is how I see it, and always will.
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My partner and I were not married but lived together for many years. I was divorced decades ago. Today I had to fill in a form and put divorced as my status, when I feel wido
wed, having lost him only three weeks ago.
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I seem to spend so much of my time trying to make other people feel better/less awkward when its my life that has been blown apart! But, if its forms and bureacracy that dont provide a suitable option then I don’t try to soften things. I am married but my husband is no longer here through no fault of his own so we remain together as a married couple x