Sadly I suddenly lost my wife no goodby just gone left me I know she didn’t want too.
Life is now like the living dead, gone back to work as was unable to cope home alone, not really my son is there he helps me but I still feel alone.
I am unable to concentrate, and think I am loosing my mind, can not understand why she left me at 56 no age it should have been me I wish it was.
Nothing left in this life for me, I feel, things may get better over time, but doubt it.
What is left for us the chosen ones, chosen to be sad, live in despair, unhappy and depressed.
Sorry for the depressing words but it’s how I feel no that she has gone.
I am alone.
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I’m so sorry for your loss and to hear how sad you are feeling. My partner was a lot younger than me and it seems so unfair to lose someone who should have had years of life to enjoy.
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That’s exactly how I feel, thanks
My husband died of a heart attack suddenly with no warning earlier this year. My world has totally changed and no one understands the impact/how your world changes unless you have been there 
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My husband had a sudden cardiac arrest 13 weeks ago. I am still reeling with shock. Xx
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Oh Steve I am so sorry. I completely empathise with you.
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It’s what happens with sudden deaths, no chance to say the last I love you, and get all there wishes for the funeral.
You are left with it all, including the police if it happens at home.
You have to just manage and hope you made the correct choices
The only positive thing I can think is no suffering, it happens and they are gone.
Ruining your life, it’s not as they meant to
But it’s true.
The mind games that plays on you are unbelievable.
It will take years to even partially recover, yes years if ever
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Yes, I’m happy for my husband that he went quickly and without long term pain. From a selfish point of view I wish we had had time to say some final meaningful things instead of a message about taking the bins out 
can only hope it will be my turn soon so we can meet again 
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Agreed on avoiding certain things. Haven’t been able to listen to the radio since my husband died and weirdly now drive in silence instead of the loud music which I used to love . I definitely have a list of things I can’t face yet. I try to do the things I know he wouldnt have enjoyed like joining a book club! Ultimately though I know I’m just passing time until I can see him again.
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@Steve123 it’s awful to lose them in an instant . So much happiness gone . I feel the same as you . Nothing is right anymore. I hope it gets easier
Alison4,
You are correct, I feel like giving up every single day but it’s our duty to those we lost to press on and make the most of what we have.
I for one need to remember that.
Cry lots, miss them absolutely but give up never.
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When I go out to the places we enjoyed together, or even shopping or gardening, I always say ‘come on then, off we go!’
I’m hoping I get to that way of thinking sometime soon. At the moment the thought of going to any of “our places” kills me. I seem to be going backwards. My car broke down and where I live there is no public transport so I’ve been working from home and having food and prescriptions delivered. My world has shrunk and difficult ti get back out there!
I avoid most places we went together. I only go there if I have to, like the supermarket.
My struggle is that I am really trying to maintain everything to the standard he did. The house, the garden, paperwork, most importantly, caring for my daughter. Of course she is the priority, but when things go wrong I get really anxious. Like when the day centre grumble about my daughter’s behaviour, when I scratched the car, when I can’t reset the heating after a power-cut.
It is ridiculous, the lawn needs feeding, the roses need pruning, the windows need cleaning, and so it goes on. I can’t manage everything and look after our daughter. Something has got to give. I know these things will just have to wait their turn and he wouldn’t expect me to do everything. I just feel guilty when I see how everything around me seems to be deteriorating.
Totally relate to this, so overwhelming. The to do list seems enormous. I have to work full time, clean the house, walk the dog, do all of the maintenance and look after a garden with 7ft hedges, sort out all the bills. And thats before even looking in the dreaded sadmin drawer. Meanwhile the doctors advise is to be kind to myself, work through the week and take time out. I’ll make sure to do that after my 18 hour day when grief has made me tired ti my bones.
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I found a sod-off-sized -hedge -trimmer in the shed. I can’t even lift it. I have similar height hedges to you, front and back. They are hawthorn and grow at an alarming rate. I have just about managed to convince myself that I am leaving them untouched ‘for the pollinators’. It’s not true, but it will do for now.
Let me see, the birds might be nesting in April, better not cut the hedge, no-mow-May, so leave the lawn. I am sure I will think of something for June……….
I might feel better by July.
Don’t feel guilty it’s an uphill battle . He was at home more than me and lived outdoors cleaning and gardening . I worked more . I try and maintain things but I am not him . I always told him I wanted to go first
I’ve been using the rewilding/environmental excuse too! Same as, the hedge cutter weighs a ton so theyre cut to the height I could lift it and then the top 2 ft is like a mohican waving at me in the kitchen window.
Don’t really feel like doing the garden much any more my wife was always happy when it was tidy.
But as she has gone, and with that any inspiration to do anything also gone.
Just no point any more, wish it was me , life is sh1t and boring with out her don’t know what will happen now, feeling depressed all the time
You might start a trend! “Mohican Hedges”. A new form of topiary!
I have got Apache lawns. (Patchy).
Sorry, I will sit on my hands now. Xx
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