I thought I would come on here as an out let really, I struggle to talk to people and hide the way I’m feeling rather than just let it out.
I lost my mum to Cancer on the 13th September 2019 - after her being diagnosed on my birthday in January 2019.
I have never lost anyone before, as I was only 25 when she passed, she was the first person in my life to ever pass away.
I was with her at the hospital with her when she got admitted and every day for the last 2 weeks and watched her slowly get worse to the point were she couldn’t talk or move.
After the funeral, clearing the bungalow etc, it suddenly hit me, that I had lost my mum, and I was never going to see her again? should I of said more? should I have done more ?
Its now February, and I still can’t shake these feelings, I can go through some days were I have happy thoughts etc, but then it will creep behind me and catch me and then all i can think about is bad thoughts such as the fact I will never see her again or smell the bungalow etc.
I cant seem to shake that of? Can anyone help?