Hi all
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I lost my mum in the 21st July 2025 and I am struggling mentally and emotionally and emotionally physically. I have 2 children that love me and I have to physically have to drag myself from my bed to find any motivation for them. My partner doesn’t know how to support me and I keep telling him and we end up arguing. I have a massive feeling of overwhelmed and my other brothers are 19 & 20 and I’m trying to guide them through life as well as look after myself which I can’t do as I feel I have to be in so many places at once people say it’s important to look after ourselves I can’t I’m to busy looking after everyone else and this is what people don’t understand. Right now I feel like I’m stuck and I can’t move. 
Hello @Donna1990,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are struggling emotionally and physically. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
-
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
-
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also find this Sue Ryder article helpful: Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Losing your mum and trying to carry everyone else at the same time is just too much for one person. It’s okay if right now “self care” feels impossible, you’re already doing so much by just getting up for your kids
Thank you. It is tough sometimes I feel like I need just 5 minutes to breath. I’ve read in quite a few places to try look after ourselves how can I do that when I’m looking after everyone else making sure there looked after and housed and fed
Hi .
I lost my mom in July. I cannot describe the devastation and impact it has had. 50% of me died with her that day. The world is no longer the same. Everyday the grief is with you and weighs heavy on your shoulders. People try to help but don’t seem to understand or fully empathise.
Grief fatigue is a symptom and you seem to be experiencing this. I have this with a whole host of others. I know life will never be the same and accepted that. You are not alone in your grief and I am here for support.
Thank you so much and I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a hard thing to deal with nothing prepares you for it and people say your be fine until you actually go through it then people have no idea.
I have started a journal a lady from a bereavement support group suggested it and in a way I’m only on day 4 but it does help to get my feelings out but the fact I am never going to see my mum again really hurts right now.
Hi, Im so sorry for your loss and so recent. You’re trying to be there for others and doing a good job by getting up and showing up. It all takes so much time.
I lost my mum in April and i still feel broken. A single parent, my Dad already passed.
I think feeling stuck is about right for your situation and it’s ok to just do what you can. It’s still so very raw for you.
Just take a few minutes here and there. And trust that things will start to settle a little to give you some breathing space. Allow yourself to cry and think about your precious mum.
Hello Donna1990,
Firstly, so so sorry for your loss, I got in that boat just 2 weeks earlier. I am dealing with a lot of guilt and feeling ashamed of myself. Most things are not my fault really, just really bad management and naivety. I had to deal with so many ism’s and prejudice and authority deception it really is uncreditable.
A good friend and former colleague has told me not to beat myself about things. I not really, but I totally get the feeling being so lost, empty and drained. I know it is quite normal to feel this way, it just hurts like hell.
My heart really does go out to you Donna1990, you seem to have a lot of family around you, although your struggle seems as lonely as mine. I long to get to the rest of my family, I have done so for such a long time. There was even a time, that mum had thought I had died, which broke her even more. I don’t think I ever recover from what that did to her. I was held back and held back all time by such chaotic badly trained decision makers. I do cherished her love and memory, she died knowing that I was finally alright and safe. I am also sorry that you argue with your partner, where I long to start dating again, we both seem to be lost in a maze of grief. With time, I would like to think, we both will find out.
I do recommend, day by day, just look after yourself a little more. Can your partner help out a bit more with your children.
You all sound so young, do you have any elder member’s of the family that you can lean on?
I also recommend that you speak to the Samaritan’s, I found them a comforting source when mum first died. Such a nice cushion that awful blow that it is.
Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.