Loosing my mum

I lost my mum on the 1st November 2023 ,it was not expected, she was with me in august,I took her home and she started to get unwell, hospitalised from September and couldn’t fight of infection after infection, we took her home Monday 30 th October my sister arrived from America 31 October and she passed with her three daughters with on the 1st November.we are all really trying to understand why and the emotions are all over the place , I cry every day and speak to her daily .


Hello @Sadwoman123,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Sorry for you loss. It’s very hard to try to process. Mum mum died suddenly in new year’s day. I’d only seen her three hours before but when I went back she was on the couch in her PJ’s after getting ready for bed. Shed passed away. I’m glad you have the support of your siblings but please use this community to share your thoughts and feelings. :heart:

Know exactly what you are going through my dear, much the same as me, mum was hospitalised beginning of oct and her body was to frail and ill to fight off the infection, we bought her home to look after her on the 5th dec and she passed on the 8th with all her family around her. Was very traumatic for all of us and I have been a mess for weeks, couldn’t stop the tears, like you, I’m still off work as it felt like I was in a fog, words just wouldn’t come, I just keep replaying in my head the last day of her life and her last hour and half. Almost 9 weeks now since she passed, we have had her funeral which was very traumatic and even planning it was heartbreaking but I knew me and my family wanted to do it, it was beautiful and I know we did her proud, we customised her poems to include us all and after the funeral the feelings changed as I felt we had done our best for her and sent her free with our love, she was no longer in pain and suffering. Obviously I miss her greatly and the feeling of I want my mum will never go, I now have tears streaming down my face just remembering everything and writing this but I also don’t ever want to forget her beautiful flowers and when we went to see her in the chapel of rest, she looked so lovely and so peaceful.
I now have a collage of photos on my wall which is a great comfort, pictures of her from just a few weeks ago before she got ill, a photo of her mum funeral flowers and the mum poem we wrote for her, I am now beginning to be able to look at them and smile instead of being so heartbroken, we looked after her for years and did everything we could to make her life easier and enriched doing the things she loved, never thought I would talk to the dead either but find myself talking to and about my beautiful mum all the time. It is slowly getting easier. I wish I had found this group weeks ago when everything felt to overwhelming. Just take one day at a time, if you need to cry my dear cry don’t bottle it up. I’m spending lots of time with my dad as I don’t ever want him to feel lonely and on his own because he never will he will always have his 3 girls to look after him. If you want to message me back my dear please do. My thoughts are with you as I know what you are going through. Xx