Loosing my partner

I don’t know what to really say if I’m honest, November the 17th 2022 we got given the news it was gone the treatment worked, from March 9th they was just treating him with an ear infection and Bell’s palsy, face getting swollen weight lost vice going but no one would listen, appointment brought forward to the 6th April his mri he had prior came back clear apparently but then admitted and had mri/ct/ X-ray nothing shown up … biopsy’s had to be done … it deffo looks like an infection but emergency pet scan needed. 14days later ( some emergency) pet scan done… do we need to go to this appointment on the 27th April as you know we’ve had it brought earlier … yeah you do … okay we go in oh your terminal the cancer is everywhere.
How ? How is this possible ? I told you something was wrong and you didn’t investigate.
5th May hello again sorry but you have 6-12 months left. What ? How ? It’s everywhere you said he was good … we have a baby girl… I’m sorry but we shall
Do 6 cycles of chemo which gives you extra 6 months .
5 weeks 3 days and he’s gone didn’t get chance for chemo and he was put under emergency, now I’ve got to carry on without him and I’m putting on a brave face everyday our baby girl is 10month a old his first biological daughter.
His funeral was beautiful he promised to come home he did, but not in the way we
I am struggling to grieve I don’t know how to I’m angry mad frustrated he was my bestest friend ms now I feel lost alone I can’t fight no battles he gave me strength love made me feel safe and now I’m
A nobody I’m just the partner we didn’t get chance to marry due to him deteriorating. And all
I needed waa that bit of paper to feel like I am
Someone, but I didn’t I’ve never felt like I mend nothing in my whole life, I have been through the cancer treatment from the word go carried our baby protecting her she was a gift to him and now I’m just a nobody and it hurts to know the one person who made me feel I was someone isn’t here no more.
I don’t know if I am grieving I don’t know all
I know is im alone and trying to be the strongest I can for my children.


@Abby1723 so sorry for your loss. It’s such early days for you. Coping with grief and young children is unimaginable. Our daughter is an adult but I found the grief overwhelming. I still fo sometimes even 16 weeks later. I too lost my husband to cancer, also only finding out it was terminal weeks before he passed away. Life is cruel. I have found this forum a source of comfort. Just knowing others understand what you are going through. Hopefully it will help you too. Sending hugs


You are still somebody even though it doesn’t feel like it. You are a special person in your own right as I’m sure your boyfriend thought as well.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I wasn’t married either so I didn’t get to plan things and felt very helpless and the family did it all. (I was due to get married the day after he died) I now understand they were all trying to deal with their grief and shock and couldn’t think about mine.
I got together with my friends and family before the funeral and said a bit about him and we read a Bible verse and I played ‘our song’ that really helped to feel like I’d said goodbye.
He loved you and your children, Never forget that. No one can take it away.