My handsome son Stephen… was found dead in his flat yesterday 15/06/2022 
age 24 I’m heartbroken… feel so lost he fell out with me years ago … I tried many times to make up with him … he wouldn’t … il never get to speak to him ever again … il never get over this he was my mini me … we were so much alike we clashed at times … both stubborn… how do u cope with something so sad
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Hello Nicola, I am so sad and sorry for you and your son. I can’t say how I would feel if it was one of our sons but like you one son is so much like me it’s difficult not to clash. Your loss is new and raw and the thought that you can never tell him how much you love him is one of the hardest things to deal with. Take each as it comes and be kind to yourself because need to be there for your other son. Life at present will be hard and horrible but honestly it does become easier, never leaves your because he is part of you and at present a big part. Take care sending hugs and blessings. S xxx
No words…sending love and hugs 
so very sorry for your loss be gentle and kind with yourself
That’s lovely of you Love20. Take care.S xxx
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Hello Nicola - I am so sorry for your loss. Right now you are in shock. If you are on your own see if you can get a friend or a neighbour to come and be with you for a while. If you’ve got someone with you that’s good. You probably feel overwhelmed, and worse. Just get by hour by hour. You will get support and understanding on here, it can help a little. Be kind to yourself, you’ve lost your boy and had a huge, huge shock. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight. Please take care of yourself. Keep posting. Xxxxx
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Hi it’s just so sad … I really don’t want be with out him … but I have another son who’s 22 his good company to me … my best friend been helping us every day… life’s so cruel … sad thing he fell out with me 5 years… I tried so hard to get him to speak to me but he wouldn’t… his dad didn’t even tell us he had been found dead police came round and told us… his dad still hasn’t rung other son … horrible man… just don’t feel real
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Thankyou 
Thankyou very hard
Nicole, just hang in there, things do get easier bit by bit. Make sure you remaining son knows how much you care about him because he will be feeling terrible about losing his brother and the way you are. Life will get easier, your memories should all be good ones and you will feel easier. S xxx
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Hi Nicola - it’s all really early days for you and not surprising you are feeling overwhelmed. That’s ‘normal’ so soon after it happened. My daughter died in January and it’s only v recent that I get moments of thinking of something else. Right now your pain is left, right and centre. Just get by day by day, hour by hour. Really good that you have support. You may have already looked at the Compassionate Friends website, they helped me a lot so worth a try. Be kind to yourself if you can. Sending you hugs. Xxxx
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It’s so sad that he never made up with me before he died I tried so hard but he wouldn’t … now il never get to see him someone I know lost her daughter… she said she never watched the TV for week … her daughter lived with her… my son lived with his dad for years … like my friend says if u want to watch the TV watch it … like I do crochet and knitting… I feel it’s wrong if I do bit … just can’t think whatever I do is wrong … I’m just lost … I can’t believe I won’t see him no more … or get to speak to him
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It’s definitely not wrong to do things that help you feel even a tiny bit less shit. TV, knitting, stroking the cat, going to bed, whatever it is, that’s a good thing. For months I felt in a panic all the time, it’s utterly exhausting plus all the churning thoughts and ifs and buts and whys. Anything that helps even for a few minutes to get you a respite from the horrid grief is a positive. Be kind to yourself. It’s good to give yourself even the tiniest break and it will build on itself, slowly, slowly. Xxxx
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My OCD playing up bad … having horrible throughts … is the the grief making it bad … I’m so upset … I can’t myself in bad place like I have before …
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If you can, be with someone cos that might help, or you can phone the Samaritans. That’s their job to listen, so don’t feel bad about talking to them or come on here and have a rant or a cry out. It really is ok and even wise and sensible to ask for help if you need it, don’t struggle on or beat yourself up. It’s very very hard to calm down in the worst bits of grief but you can get through it. Just one hour at a time. Xxxxx
I understand your pain of losing an offspring.
Lost my 34-year old daughter recently and the grieving will never end… She lived with me her whole life.
I have to remind myself that she is another flower for God’s garden, and there is always someone who is worse off than me.
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It’s sad isn’t it … just want him back with me… how do u go on
People think it is … haven’t watched no TV … or nothing … only 5 mins…
Dear Nicola,
Your grief is still so raw, it is like having a big open wound and wondering if and how it will ever heal. Your posts show your great love for your son and the pain you feel about his death. It is so sad that he had fallen out with you and never responded to your attempts to make up. I am sure you must have tried so hard so please do not add any feelings of guilt to your grief. I hope that you and your other son can comfort each other and that the responses you are getting from other users will help you too. xx Jo
Hi thankyou I’m lost I’d do anything to get him back… it’s just so sad I don’t know what to do now … I’m close to my other son but I can’t believe Stephen has passed away… my life will never be same again
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