I thought I was being awful at first but when then you realise your not the only one who does x
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@Sah28 oh my goodness, you said exactly how it feels to me too, seeing people grow old together and resenting them having what we don’t have. It’s so hard, sending love x
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I know, I thought I was an evil bitch for a while. Like I’d especially think it if they were struggling to walk or had no legs, like why are you still here and he’s not etc god I sound bloody awful but that’s what grief does to you! X
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It does and asking why the scum of society are still alive and he isn’t x
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Definitely identify with that x
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Yes 100% I just know our souls will meet again, I can’t wait but need to enjoy life in the meantime, what’s the point of living in misery he would hate hate that for me. Just everything is surreal, I even feel guilty if I buy something new like clothes as I can’t show him. I also miss then when I felt a bit shit, I’d ask him to tell me something nice and he would tell me nice things that we had to look forward to 
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I love that and so true i feel the same . It really brings it all back when you go through something difficult because you dont have that one person who could make it all ok 
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I know it’s bloody sad 
I just miss everything, I even miss clearing up after him and him moaning at me for leaving my wet towel on his side of his bed (I still do hahaha)
Today, I’m going to have a catch up with my boss and I hate that when I check my phone he’ll not have text me to say how did it go, can’t wait to finish work, what shall we have for tea, love you
It’s just crappy crap crap 
x
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I’m the same , know I will meet my wife again at some point , made her a few promises (when I was with her in the funeral directors chapel for the last time ) that I have to fulfill before that can happen though. That I have to do those and also be there for the kids & dog is really what keeps me going .
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Sorry for your loss mate , we lost my wife 12 weeks ago from a cardiac arrest , she was only 57 . All the hopes / dreams / plans we had for when the kids (23&18) could look after themselves such as travel etc , gone in an instant , just replaced by a massive empty feeling inside .
Like many have said , use this forum as its full of people who really know what you are going through / feeling .
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Aww bless you, how lovely that you are keeping your promises to your wife . Least it’ll give you something to focus on. What were the promises? Don’t feel like you have to say, I’m just nosey 
x
It’s hard trying to find a way to enjoy life again, but it’s no fun just existing. I believe there’s got to be something beyond life. X
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Thank you and sorry for your loss too your right and im so glad ive found this community. All this really brings home just how special our partners are. We were so lucky to have these gorgeous souls in our lives
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Thats very true and i really hope there is something else x
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There 100% is. Shortly after my Andrew passed I had a reading with a medium, she told me things he would only know. She also said that it helped him pass my love for him and he knew I was there cuddling him as he died. She said we were soul mates and we have met before this life and will in the next. She also said he is my guide now and will give me strength and that he is an old soul so will be strong to communicate with me.
Yes we must find our way, it’s just were to start! I really do believe he is around me, I can feel his love
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I had one about 8 weeks after, I was in doubt before hand because of the publicity around he’s death. He’s funeral was in the local paper.
But 2 days before I’d opened a cupboard seen something and an idea crossed my mind. He told me all about that moment and not to do it and he knew to much personal stuff about us x
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It brought me great comfort
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Where did you find the medium @Katyh?
nosey .
Seriously though , I started to learn trading when I was working from home during covid , about a year ago quit my job to do it full time and my wife supported me fully ( even though she had no idea what it was I was doing , she believed in me , as long as I can pay my half the bills , she used to say 
) . So they were to pay the mortgage off asap so the kids will always have somewhere to live , to support the kids and have them settled ( in work and personal life ) , to make sure the house always has flowers ( as she loved flowers ) to look after her mum and make sure the kids speak to her regularly ( as she always rang her mum every night and as you would expect her mum is devastated we’ve lost her ) and we keep going over to Belfast to visit . Finally to take her with me travelling ( have some of her ashes in a pendant on a chain ) to all the places we said we would go to .
Well you did ask
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How lovely! It’s good you’ve got some motivation as you’ll have to stick to your promises 
I especially like the promise of talking her with you on your travels
I was thinking of getting a tattoo with Andrews ashes so he is always with me but not sure what!
Thanks for sharing your promises, where is the first place you are planning on visiting?
X