I lost my gorgeous Kerrie just over 2 months ago to cancer it was an intense 6 month battle she was only 46. It ended at home as she wanted. Now im dealing with painful grief and having to come to terms with the fact ive lost everything . Ive been through loss but this is by far the hardest time of my life . Please any help would be appreciated x
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@Matmanf1 sorry for your loss pal, I lost my mum but my brother lost his wife 10yrs ago to cancer after a 3 month battle. I know what he went through, so I can imagine what you’re going through too. Grief, in all its forms is hard, whether its a parent, a sibling, a soulmate or your child; it’s all relative and hurts like hell. Do you have someone to chat to? It took me ages to talk to anyone, but when I did, it helped.
This community is good too, when you get chance, look through some of the posts. You’ll see you’re not alone.
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@Matmanf1 you have come to the right place, we understand here. Read the posts and add to them if you want to. So sorry that you have lost Kerrie, it will be a tough time with rocky roads ahead, but we get your pain.
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Thank you so much for your reply it means alot. I think this place will help me as i am finding it hard to find people who really understand x
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Thank you . I was hoping to talk to people who really understand what im going through and im here for anyone who wants to talk about this too . Looks like ive come to the right place 
So sorry for your loss 
Grief of a partner is like no other, it is the worst pain ever. Your whole life changes and you don’t know who you are anymore without them.
It’s good that you have reached out on here. The community here is really supportive, there is always someone to talk to. Say what you want, nothing is silly, your feelings are valid and it really does help to open up. Grief is ugly and lonely 
Take care 
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So sorry you have lost your soulmate and that life is so tough at the moment.
I also lost my husband to cancer at 56 after a short battle that he was never going to win.
Try take things just a day at a time. I have periods of time where I feel so overwhelmed by my grief I find it hard to function but some days I feel numb and that is a bit of a welcome break from the pain.
I worry about the future without him but try to keep going for my kids - they need their mum more than ever now.
Look after yourself - keep posting and reading here - it can give comfort and support especially on those bad days.
Sending strength and hugs x
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Try not think to far ahead it emotionally breaks you, just think about getting through the day/hour even minute.
One foot in front of the other baby steps. Keep talking/hiding from the world/crying/shouting whatever helps you
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Thank you so much roni52 that means alot . So Sorry to here of your loss . I am also here if a chat and support is needed anytime. Your right a day at a time is best . So hard sometimes but to be expected I know . Keep well x
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Thank you Sah28 your words ring so true with me . Its so nice to talk to people who really do understand what this is like . X
People who haven’t lived it don’t truly understand. The jealousy when you look at old married couples, they got to grow old together, the empty bed, the sleepless nights, the anger, the disbelief and all the rest, people don’t get it unless they’ve experienced it
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So so true . Its horrible how isolated you can feel evem though people and some so called family say we are here and let me know if you need anything and it just turns out to be insincere bull shit . Thanks for saying it how it is x
So true, they forget about you very quickly or 3 months later you should be over it. I’m nearly 13 months in I’ve got friends who’ve stayed and family who’ve ran.
I find you can be surrounded by people but feel so lonely. I’ve got three kids at home still (22, 20 and 12) it’s never an empty house but the loneliness is still there
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Definitely I could be in a room of a hundred people and feel completely alone. Its good you have your children around you though but I completely understand. Im now on my own but my mum is near and my daughter only a couple of hours away i have two sisters two but not near and contact is less again. Basically Mum daughter and a couple of friends are the ones who help and im glad ive finally got the courage to talk on here too
It does help talking to people who understand, the kids are the reason I get out of bed everyday, they have had so much to deal with they need me.
I’m glad you’ve got support, my sister is the same but karma will catch up with them one day.
I’m glad you’ve got to the point were you can talk
I’m just a message away
Thank you sorry ive probably kept you up lol . My daughter is 24 and i have a grandson so I have to try and keep going for them and my mum too . Again thank you so much for chatting hope to keep messaging x
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Anytime it’s not a problem you haven’t kept me up I’m a bit of a night owl these days.
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I really appreciate that . Would it be ok if I message you tomorrow just chit chat and escape from people who I don’t really want to be around lol . Don’t worry I won’t pester you though
Yes that’s fine, happy to help you escape
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Hi @Sah28
This post reminded me of the early days when my partner passed like the first few days and the days when I found out there was nothing they could do. I kept looking at all people and thinking how we’re you allowed to get so old, why couldn’t it have been you instead! Saying that our loud sounds awful and I’m not a horrible person but I couldn’t help but think it. I don’t now though just at the beginning.
Couples don’t bother me, but I do think that some are ungrateful and don’t truly know what they have got.
Xx
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