I am 21, just about to turn 22 next year and on 26th May 2020, I lost my mum unexpectedly. She was just 46 and I just feel like I’m not coping.
I am feeling every emotion under the sun, anger, guilt, sadness. I feel like I didn’t do enough. My mum struggled with alcohol for many years so in around march this year I decided I couldn’t cope with it anymore and choose to move in with my older sister, then covid hit and my mum just stayed alone in her house drinking which in turn led to the course of her death.
I feel like it’s my fault maybe if I hadn’t moved out I could have stopped it.
I am trying to get support through my university but they offer little to none especially for bereavement, I’m away from home while at university and I’m feeling as lonely as ever because none of my friends have lost a parent they don’t understand how it feels and I’m scared they will judge me for being so upset all the time.
I generally feel like I’m just a burden on everyone when I do get upset. I’d love to be able to talk to my family about it but there struggling to cope too especially my grandparents and I really don’t want to put more on their plate.
I’m just hoping someone might understand how I feel because at the moment i just feel like i am completely alone.