Lose of Child

I’ve never done anything like this but feel like I need to start opening up not just for me but for my boys, am I shell of myself, I miscarriage my first born daughter when I was 18 and it’s killed me to hold her in my arms and watch her take her take breath, I put a block of ice around my heart since and that was 15 years ago but I miss her everyday, still know her smell and the way she looked in my arms, then an year later had an entopic pregnancy nearly bled to death and told only 25% of falling pregnant but I went on to foster my oldest and had my 2 younger boys. Just feel lost sometimes like something is missing

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Hello @Bonnie331, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. That is such a lot of pain to be carrying for 15 years; thank you for bravely reaching out and sharing how you are feeling.

I wanted to ask if you had ever had any counselling for your loss? We offer free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat. It is a space just for you to talk about your grief and is something many of our members have found helpful.

SANDS also offer support for people who have experienced the death of their baby. You can explore what might be helpful for you on their website.

You also want to look at some of our Sue Ryder resources:

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .

I hope you find our community to be a support - take good care,