Losing a best friend

I’m new here, and I lost my best friend of 8 years 4 months ago.
He commited a serious sexual offence against me and I had to cut all contact with him about a week before he died. I’m finding it incredibly hard to deal with this loss because I feel like I can’t even reminisce or look at pictures of us together without remembering what he did. All the advice I’ve seen so far for dealing with my greif doesn’t seem helpful because of this. I miss him so much, and I feel like my entire life has fallen apart and I have no idea how to process this loss.

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Hello @verysillygoose, thank you so much for reaching out. I hope you find the community to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your friend that brings you here.

Grieving someone with whom we had a complicated relationship can be difficult, and it’s understandable that you don’t know how to process your loss. As you mentioned, some of the advice out there about coping with grief might not feel helpful for you. There are resources which talk about when your relationship was complicated, like this one, which may resonate with you a little more.

A serious sexual assault and the loss of your best friend is a lot for one person to cope with. Are you getting any support right now? You may want to make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. The NHS website has some resources for support after a sexual assault. We also offer free bereavement counselling sessions at Sue Ryder. Remember that you can also call the Samaritans on 116 123 anytime if you would like to talk to someone.

Please do keep reaching out - you are not alone.

Take good care,