I lost my son Oliver to Covid in February 2021 he was 27. I still feel devastated and have flash backs. It hurts so much. My daughters are devastated too we were a close unit. Love never dies but a part of me has.
I feel flat the joy of life has gone much of the time.
I cope by knowing his soul is in another dimension he is here but I can’t see him
3 Likes
Dear @Bellabbb
Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son Oliver. There are no words to describe the pain of losing a child.
There is an organisation called The Compassionate Friends that has useful resources and information for support. It is for families who have lost a child of any age.
You can also connect with members here by typing the topic in the search bar. You are not alone, there is loads of support here for you. Sue Ryder has a Grief Guide that contains useful information and will help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief.
Please take care of yourself and your daughters. We are here for you any time. If you need more information, please email online.community@suerydercare.org.
Take care.
Pepsi
1 Like
Hi luv so sorry for the loss of your son I know exactly how you are feeling. The feeling of devastation is just horrific the feeling that part of you died with them. I lost my phone daughter Leah in Jan this year to cancer of the breast then it went to secondary liver cancer it took her very quickly she was 25 and an absolute beautiful girl and devoted mum to her 3 yr old son I’m devastated and feel very numb someday s I can’t believe she’s gone I don’t want to wake up some mornings because the pain in my chest hurts with crying and it’s an effort to get up and do stuff but I do and still go to work but I could easily think I can’t be bothered what’s the point to life anymore but she was such a little fighter right to the end I think il fight and try and get through the life I’ve got left and be a mum and nan to my other girls and grandkids. I come on here to chat quite alot and it does help .take care. Shellyanne XX 
4 Likes
Thank you
Just joining has shifted me today
I did gardening and Pilates and now making tomato chutney!
Ollie loved to cook and he has made me more adventurous in my spices!
I will keep coming on when I need to jolt myself out of a whirlpool of grief
I’m doing the zoom with compassionate friends
Thank you for suggesting them
BW
Bella
2 Likes
Hi luv you are welcome it makes me feel better when you realise that people are going through the same and coming on here you can say anything abouy your feeling s and emotions I also have joined TCFthey are really supportive aswell Keep strong bellabbb XX shellyanne XX
2 Likes
So sorry to hear of your loss … my son died on 5 Nov 2017 from oesophageal cancer - 9 months from diagnosis to death . My marriage collapsed and I now live alone - didn’t see this lifestyle coming !!! I miss him desperately - my heart is broken … I’ve got so low I’ve almost taken an overdose if it wasn’t for a friend calling . We all put on such brave faces don’t we? saying we are fine when asked. I roar when I get home wishing it was my life that had been taken instead of his …
1 Like
Hi She-D,
I’m so sorry to hear about your Son. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really low.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts during their grief journey. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
- If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline .
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, She-D, get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Alex
So sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter . I fully understand all that you say .
I have signed up to a day in Chesterfield in November gor parents who have lost a child - saw it on the Compassionate Friends site that was recommended by Pepsi. I’ve always avoided meeting and chatting to others in my situation but am hoping that this day may shine some much needed light . Take care and sending hugs x