I lost my beautiful son the sunshine of my life in November 23… my life fell to bits 6 1/2 years prior when he was diagnosed with MND , and I had to watch a young strong healthy strapping young man , lose the ability to do anything for himself, it was torture ! The pain seeing his body deteriorating and his needs becoming complex ruined the time I had with him as my heart broke each time I spent it with him , I would leave the room and cry . And make excuses why I couldn’t be with him all of the time , it was hell !! And even with his diagnosis I thought we had more time there were things he had planned things we had all planned ! I was so focused on him getting better and living , I didn’t say all the things I wanted to say , I have huge regrets that are eating me ! I just feel everything is pointless , and I just want to be with him , I feel like my life is over and pointless plus empty !! How do people cope losing a child how a you ever carry on living after they have gone … they have lost their future house kids wife , job holidays abroad tech
I am so sorry for your loss and understand the pain I lost my youngest daughter aged 36 in February this year and I’m really struggling
Hi Sharom ,
Thanks for your message, I am very sorry to read about your daughter , it’s unbearable the pain isn’t it , the emptiness , not being able to hug them , talk to them , see their smile every single day. My son always lived with me , we had a room built downstairs for him , I see that empty room all of the time and it’s so hard … we are not meant to lose our children, all I can say is I feel your pain , sending you a big hug , take it hour by hour as it’s all we can do right now x
Dear Noodlelou and Sharom, I’ve just read your posts and I wanted to reach out to you, as I am also a bereaved mother.
Motor Neurone Disease has been in the news a lot today, following the sad death of a young rugby player. Some years ago, I lost my beloved sister to this cruel disease, it was heartbreaking watching her get weaker, I felt so helpless. We were very close. My husband had died two years previously, so I feel I have had a lot of grief to deal with.
But two years ago, my beautiful, brave son died of a brain tumour and this has absolutely devastated me. My boy was funny, clever, kind - the sunshine of my life. I miss him beyond words, and have lost all joy in life. The loss of a child is the worst thing that can happen, so I know what you are going through. It’s the wrong way round and the pain is unbearable.
I have two other children, and grandchildren, as well as good friends, for which I am grateful. I am trying so hard to keep going, but it’s exhausting.
Sending my very best wishes to all bereaved parents out there. 
Susan J.
Hi Susan ,
you have had a lot of grief to cope with , I do understand how painful it was for you to watch your sister lose her fight with MND 
… But for you to lose your son it is the worst pain imaginable , so sorry for your loss , and yes it takes the joy out of life , I find each day incredibly painful, I try to keep busy /distracted which I find helps me , I also have dogs who keep me
Occupied… how have you coped
The last couple of years to keep going? Losing my son has made me realise how quickly life can change and how short life is , I get upset because I’m so sad ,
And can’t enjoy my life , and sad because I’m wasting my life staying at home because my heart is broken …
Hello again. I’m not sure how I keep going. I try to stay busy, to take care of myself and my home. I do a little gardening. The weight of sorrow wears me out. I am 20 years older than you. My son was in his 40s - but he was still my precious child, my firstborn. He was happily married with two children. He loved life.
I feel I have to keep going for my other children and for my grandchildren. They do not need more grief on top of this loss. (My boys were “best mates” as well as brothers). So I get up every day and get on with it. I am a writer, so putting feelings into words helps.
I have joined The Compassionate Friends (TCF). I go to a meeting every few weeks and have got to know other bereaved parents. It is a club no-one wants to join, but there is some comfort and support in being with others who understand your grief. Perhaps there is a TCF group near you?
I read posts on the Sue Ryder site from time to time, which is how I came to see yours last night. I follow the thread called “Loss of my son aged 27”. That is a fairly active thread. However, it can be depressing reading how people are still suffering many years after losing a child. But how can it be otherwise?
Do you have any other family or close friends? Friends can sometimes say the wrong thing - they want us to “move on” and they don’t understand. Sometimes people don’t want us to talk about our lost child, but we want to talk about them and remember them, don’t we?
I’m glad you have your dogs. They need your care. Also, taking them for walks is good exercise for you. Getting out of the house can lift your spirits a little.
I am lucky to have a kind, supportive partner. He doesn’t really “get” how I feel - how could he? He hasn’t lost a child. But he does his best to help me. Sometimes I just want to be alone.
I wish you well for today. One day at a time. I know you are missing your son terribly and I know how it feels to be overwhelmed with sadness.
Take care.
Hi Sue , thanks for your reply , I know your other children and grandchildren will make you keep a smile now and then , and you keep going for them and the bond you have , of course he was your baby boy , no matter how old they are they are our babies ! No other love like it , I had a special bond with
My son as he needed more attention and he lived at home so we knew each other inside out …. Someone suggested to me about a journal , so I think I will try that as two months ago I never saw myself joining a site like this and actually telling people I had lost my son , who knows it might help me , I don’t feel in living , I’m just existing and have done for 6 1/2 months , it feels like yesterday the day I lost him as I’m sure the pain is the same for you too .
I have family close by , but for ridiculous reasons my mother abandoned myself & my son 5 months after he was diagnosed he was heartbroken , so we had to pick ourselves up from that upset , my dad is afraid to upset her so he managed to pop in once a month to see my son but couldn’t stay for long , such a horrible situation . I do have two friends who have lost children sadly , years ago so I know they get how I’m feeling , as some people do not help at all like my dad saying you have to move on ! Or friends expecting you to be ‘over it’ now ! yes I find keeping busy although
I’m limited due to disability,definitely does help the mind , I won’t give in and get things done , I painted a trellis fence sitting down but I did it , some days I want to hide in bed and cry , taking my dogs out is difficult but I manage that most days to and that does help , take care of yourself, love & prayers
Thank you for your kindness and understanding I miss her so much.
She also left her son who’s just turned 15
I have two other daughters and another grandson of 7 for them I have to stick around.
I talk to her photo everyday I just hope she is free from mental and physical symptoms and at peace xx
Hi
I’m so sorry for the loss of your son the pain for a mother is so unbearable.
I talk to her photos, she was a singer/songwriter I l listen to her beautiful voice
I put all my bereavement cards away without reading them as I couldn’t face it, I will one day when hopefully I am stronger
The pain of missing them never seeme to dim
Sending y ou hugs xxx
Hi noodleloo
I know your pain and the feeling you never said enough its all part of grieving. The helplessness of it all i lost my sam 2021 he was 25 he died within 4 months of sarcoma a rare cancer . .so many questions. anger.sadness you go on a rollercoaster ride .but it wont always be so raw and you learn to live beside it sending you all big hugs the thread lost son at 27 lots people on there to chat to day and night this group has kept me sane . Always someone to chat with xx
Yes, I agree that thread is usually quite a busy one. Mostly people who’ve lost adult sons and daughters. People are friendly and supportive and they understand.
It is such a huge shock to lose a child, whatever the circumstances.
Sending love and wishing you a peaceful night
So sorry susan for the loss of your beautiful boy sending you a hug xxx
Hi Zoe,
I am so sorry for the loss of your son, so young , absolutely heartbreaking isn’t it , there is no pain like it ! I honestly don’t want to keep going , suffering and missing him so much , I go over and over all the things I wish I had been brave enough to broach with him , I just could not accept I would lose him , I’m so lost and every day I do things till I drop because if I sit still my heart hurts so much and I sit and cry for him … we have two choices I guess we carry on like you said we learn to live along side it , or we don’t carry on because life is so empty without them 
it’s the worst situation to ever be in losing a child , love & prayers
Hi everyone
First time on the chat.
I am so sorry for the pain you are all going through.
I lost my lovely mum to MND and my beautiful sister to the same horrible disease.
In April, my beautiful boy, my 14 year old grandson, was killed in a road traffic incident (i can not call it an accident as the man responsible is on bail for causing his death )
I am totally devastated. i just can’t accept he has gone. i just can not imagine how I’m going to live with this heartbreak
Dear Billy-Bob,
I am so very sorry your beautiful grandson has died in such a tragic way. You and your family must be devastated. It must have been a huge shock.
My eldest son died from a brain tumour two years ago. We all loved him dearly and we miss him dreadfully. He left a wife and two children. His son was 13 at the time, and is now 15. All our children are so precious, aren’t they?
Like you, I lost a sister to MND (some years ago now). I feel we have some things in common.
I wish you strength and peace and hope you are getting some support through the grief you must be feeling. Take care.
Susan J.
Hi Susan J
It is devastating as im sure you know.
Your grandchildren will be of some comfort to you i know nobody can replace your lovely son.
I have other grandchildren who i am trying to hold it together for and of course my daughter his mum .
The world and my life as i knew it is over .
I don’t want to move on and leave him behind if you know what i mean. I sure you have these feelings too.
Sending love and strength to you.
Hi Billy Bob,
That is so sad to read losing your mum and sister to MND, it’s such a cruel disease! And so very hard to watch our loved ones suffer like they do … as if that wasn’t enough pain for you , to lose your 14 yr old grandson a couple of months ago I can’t imagine the shock and disbelief, it’s near impossible to believe they have gone. I’m having counselling and she told me disbelief is normal , not being able to accept it’s real, as it’s to painful for our minds to cope with , I hear you when you say your trying to hold it together for your
Other grandchildren and your daughter who has lost her son , that’s incredibly hard for you , to see your daughter in pain and the other kids and you are too but you feel they need you to be there for them , please don’t forget your only human too , and you lost him too , it is human nature to try to be strong for our kids I am almost 7 months without my precious son , yet it feels like a couple of weeks at most , the months go by yet you might find your mind is stuck on the day you found out , keep talking to people on here as they do understand the pain your going through , I wish you strength to get you through the days ahead, take it hour by hour if you have to , then a day at a time , it’s all any of us can do take care
Id like to be able to say how to cope but I cant, all I can say is I know what you feel. Im just hoping one day it feels a little bit easier, I hope day you feel a little bit better too x
I can only echo what others say, that losing a child is devastating, but we have to hope our grief will feel less overwhelming as time goes by.
Talking to others on the SR site helps a little, we learn that we are not alone.
Billy-Bob I feel so sorry for your daughter who has lost her son so tragically, your heart must ache for her, on top of your own feeling of grief. I hope you are able to give her some comfort.
We have to keep going for the sake of our families. Our lives are changed forever, we are living in a new reality.
Keep in touch. I wish you a peaceful night and strength for tomorrow.
S
Hi everyone
Thank you all for sending me love and courage.
The fact is i cannot accept that this has happened to my beautiful boy.
I can’t imagine a life without him in it
Its so hard every day i am truly heart broken. Why him ? Why is life so cruel?