Losing a father

So my dad passed away just over a year ago I worked and worked and worked after the death of my dad and then a year later I was unable to eat out of no where this just came on out of no where I have had numerous of test done CT scan endoscopy camera up my nose and down my throat because I just can’t swallow anything it’s like my body is saying your not having that and it just won’t allow me to swallow the food and I have got a really bad phobia aswel of choking on food this has all just happened out of no where doctors.and consultants keep telling me it’s grief but i was fine eating normal and then a year after my dads passing this happend not being able to eat for the fear of choking and I’m tired all the time keep getting ill and keep thinking i would be better of dead my dad was so young 57 i think if the doctors would have helped my dad abit more he may still have been here my dad was my go to person he helped me through when my best friend was murdered 8 years ago and now i dont have my dad because he’s been taken away from me I don’t believe the doctors that this is grief I keep thinking what if there is something seriously wrong with me I just don’t understand why I would just stop eating a year after my dad’s passing it’s just awful this and I can’t shake this feeling of not wanting to be here anymore had anyone else experienced this

Hi @Emma1988 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you’re feeling with us. It is very normal for people who are grieving to feel a bit lost and not knowing where to start.

We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving, and it is often about wanting the person who has died back or life to go back to how we know it. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:

https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

  • You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.

  • Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, Emma, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,
Alex