I lost my Grandma just over 4 months ago. Since then I have cried nearly every day. It’s has broken me. As a child I spent most of my time there and we were very close. Now she has passed I can’t help but have regrets over events of more recent years and not spending as much time together. Due to family arguments etc I pulled out of events that would’ve given me the opportunity to spend time with her. I loved her very much and I know she loved me and we had a specia bond but all I can focus on is the negatives and the feelings of guilt. Will this go away? I want to be able to think about the happy times we shared
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your grandma. It sounds as though you had a lovely relationship with her when you were young, and she probably knew how much you loved her.
Guilt is a very common part of grief, and it seems as though people’s minds tend to find something to feel guilty about, regardless of whether they were actually at fault. People often find that it can take time for happy memories to return, and four months is not that long when you are dealing with the loss of someone close.
It’s important to be kind to yourself and to find outlets for your feelings - whether that’s by talking to supportive friends or family members, or by writing things down on a site like this. You will find lots of others here who will understand some of what you are feeling. For example, here is a recent post by Danni, who has recently lost her grandad: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-bereavement/anyone-already-dealing-depression-and-had-bereavement
If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this online community, just let me know.