losing a grandparent

In 2010 i lost my grandad,
He used to call me every night at 7 and i used to love speaking to him, it would be the highlight of my day.
I thought i had coped with the pain but it only seems to be getting worse.
As i get older i forget more about him. i have forgot what his voice sounds like and the memories i have with him only seem to be fading.
I’m at university and me and my grandad always used to talk about me going off to university and being successful. I just wish that he was here to see everything and be able to share these memories with me.
They say that time heals pain but it really doesn’t.
I just don’t know who to turn to.
If anyone has any advice it would really help.

1 Like

Hello 123456anon,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your grandad in 2010. It sounds as though you two had a very close and special relationship.

I think we can often be led to believe that grief sticks to a certain timeline and that each days gets easier, when this is so often not the case. Everyone copes with a loss differently, but it’s normal to still be feeling this way. Significant life changes, like being at university, can also trigger these feelings when you just want to tell that person what you’re up to and what you’re achieving.

I’m sure you’ll get some supportive replies from other community members soon, who might have suggestions or advice to share. In the meantime you might find it helpful to have a look at a couple of articles on our website about coping with bereavement and how long grief lasts:

https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/how-can-i-cope-with-bereavement

https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/how-long-does-grief-last

There’s also a new community member called Sray who’s just started a conversation about losing her grandma - talking to someone who has experienced a similar loss may be helpful: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/how-long-does-grief-last

Take care
Eleanor

Hello,
Iv never done this before or even if am on the right thread, my mam volunteers for sue ryder and gave me info on this site. Its coming upto 2 months since my grandad passed away, 10/12/2018 is now a date a cant forget. I was my grandads carer ,he chosed to die at home , he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and 2 months 11 days later he passed away. My grandad was such a major part of my life, we would see each other atleast 3/4 times a week and always had sunday dinner at his because sunday was family day. When he became ill a was there everyday , i did everything for him, wash,clothe, feed, and do his medication. i was his voice when he was too ill to speak , a gave him everything he wanted right up till the end and i held his hand when he took his last breath with his family by his side. When my grandad passed it felt like the weight had been lifted its was soo hard to see him turn to nothing but now its like empty , sometimes a feel like a dnt know who i am anymore i just know looking after my grandad. Sometimes a feel life is so cruel, my nanna passed 7 years this year, 16 years this year my brother passed away he was 12 and i was 13 it hurt so much but i was young and didnt fully grasp everything that was happening but now being older you understand everything, you see everything it all hurts much more when u understand it. Sorry am talking loads like a said at the start iv never done this before , am not a 1 for opening up about this stuff.
Thanks

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