losing a parent

Losing a parent
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Just feeling very lost at the moment. I am single with no children and my mother was my rock. As long as she was around I felt like I could cope with most things. We lost her recently and her funeral was on Wednesday just gone.

I was coping ok up until the funeral and now I have fallen apart. I am having panic attacks, nightmares, not eating and just crying all of the time. My heart hurts so bad. I have a little dog that is my anchor at home but she is ill at the moment too so I am panicking about her to top everything off and having to clean up after her constantly.

I lost my dad 12 years ago so have been through the loss of a parent before, and I really did not cope very well after losing him. Now my mother is gone I am suddenly left all alone in the world. I am agoraphobic so trapped inside my house which makes getting any form of distraction difficult.

Any tips on getting through the initial days after a funeral would be most appreciated for those who have been through this part of the grief already. It just feels like a big black hole at the moment.

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I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum, @Villa - that is devastating and how you’re feeling is completely understandable.

It’s really common to have a bit of a crash after the funeral. It’s something lots of our members have experienced, and if you click this link, you can read some conversations which may give you some comfort that you’re not alone.

Our page on coping with the death of a parent might be helpful, too.

Feelings of panic and anxiety are really common after losing a loved one. Sylvia, who is one of Sue Ryder’s bereavement counsellors, has created this practical three-step mindfulness exercise which you can try at home.

Mind also have tips on coping with anxiety and panic on their website.

If you’re finding that your grief is feeling too much to cope with, it may be a good idea to ring your GP and tell them how you’re feeling. Grief is hard and you don’t have to do it alone.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, too. I just wanted to share those resources with you and let you know that you’ve been heard.

Take good care
Seaneen

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Thanks so much Seaneen I appreciate the information.

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My mum passed in June, we found her, it was unexpected, she was 63. I took a few months off work and have plodded on since. I’ve a busy family home, great friends, but it’s bloody Christmas!!

Mum loved Christmas. Terrys chocolate orange is sending me mad, and I’m struggling.

I put a brave face on as much as possible but this is horrendous.