My parents live in the USA, my daughter and I live in the U.K… I lost my dad, my daughter her grandfather in July 2021. My daughter in 26. I don’t think either of us, have grieve properly. Only when watching eastenders with the brain tumour scenario, I couldn’t help the tears
1 Like
@LibbyF74 im sorry.
Its not quite the same thing but i live in north scotland, my dad in south scotland. I know thats nothing like your distance but my dad was in a nursing home when he died and our conversations on the phone were limited to once a week when the carers could help him make the phonecall.
After he died, my life didnt really change. My parents were separated and both needed care so i dealt with mums care, my sister dealt with dads. There was no change in my day to day routine because i was still dealing with mums care.
It was impossible to realise hed gone and it was impossible to grieve. For a good few years after i found it still impossible. I think when youre not smacked in the face with it every day it can be easy to protext yourself from it.
2 Likes
Hi @LibbyF74,
There is no one size fits all to grieving, everyone is different & goes through it in there own way.
My mom died 2 years ago from brain tumors, it was during COVID so we had to care for her at home. When she first passed, my brain went on autopilot, & it was like it was looking for another reason why she wasn’t here. My mind decided to keep telling me she was visiting my aunty, an unfortunate side affect of this is that sometimes it was like I was waiting for a phonecall I knew deep down would never come, 2 years later, I’ve stopped waiting for that call & have let myself grieve. I guess keeping busy keeps us distracted, for a time, but there will enevitably be moments when something reminds you, & that’s when it’ll surface, but take it one day at a time, & do what works for you. If it would help, maybe take a moment to think about anything you would of wanted to say to him, or visit the grave, if it may help, or creating a memory box of him.
I lost my dad last month
feel totally lost and empty
im normally so bubbly but lost my sparkle need my dad back so much x
2 Likes
@linds2 I know what you mean. The pain is all consuming. Like I’m missing something. Nothing feels right. Just wanna curl up in a ball forever. X