Hi, on Thursday last week I got a phone all from my sister that dad had passed suddenly. My world fell apart. I had just come to terms with losing my mum 3 years earlier. He had had been found by a neighbour on the floor in the hallway. It seems he had suffered a heart attack a was gone before he hit the floor. What I can’t deal with is the fact that he had been on the floor all night. I feel that he would still be here if I had gone to see him that evening and that it’s my fault that he isn’t.
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Hi Nanny1 i am so sorry for the loss of your dad. My dad suddenly died almost 2 years ago of a massive heart attack. It is the worst thing when they go suddenly because you dont get a chance to say goodbye 
and then you feel guilty that somehow if you were there it would have been different but it is not your fault none of it is your fault! My dad was at his happiest before he died my brother had come home (he had been traveling) he came to suprise him and my brother was downstairs when my dad had gone upstairs to get dressed and my dad and brother were coming to visit me. My brother heard a big bang upstairs but thought nothing of it so he didnt rush upstairs straight away he waited about 20 minutes before going to see what my dad was up to and heartbreakingly found my dad unresponsive on his bedroom floor. He tried to resussitate him but it was to late. My point being please dont feel guilty for not being there it is not your fault although you will think it for a while you will think to your self if i had done this or done that. I feel mad at my brother sometimes for not rushing upstairs straight away maybe he could of saved him. I no its not my brothers fault its just what grief does to you! I hope you no you are not alone!
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Hi @Nanny1 sorry for the loss of your Dad. It’s normal to feel guilty that you might have been able to save him, but you could not have anticipated events. I had similar agony over the death of my Mum back in January. She collapsed and died on her driveway. She wasn’t discovered until the morning so I also tortured myself, wishing I had gone to see her that afternoon. In the end though it’s pointless to dwell on the details that you can’t change. The only way is forward, keeping going and living your life in the best way possible. Best wishes xx
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Have been to the house today to empty the fridge and get his suit for his final journey. Am going with my sister tomorrow to sort out paperwork. And when I get back from my holiday we will be sorting the house to get it ready for sale,which I am not looking forward to as it’s the physical connection I will have to my mum and dad.
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Hi @Nanny1 yes, all these emotionally charged tasks you have to do, so very hard. The sorting of things in a home is brutal I found, but having to visit and check on an empty house is unbearable. My Mum’s house sale is still processing and for the past eight months I have had to go and sort the garden every few weeks. It’s awful, I can’t wait for it to be over. Sending you best wishes xx
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