Losing a parent

I am really struggling with the loss of my dad. Its been 8 months and somedays are just as painful as the day I lost him. I have good days, and then bad days i just want to cry and hide myself away. I have so many triggers it can be music, I see a father & daughter, or just random memories. I am also suffering with flashbacks of when I went to see my dad for the last time in the morgue and it breaks my heart. I find it hard to talk to anyone about it as i just cry and it brings everything back. I’ve also had major guilt feelings such as I wish I had told him i loved him more and saw him more etc. I’m only 25 and it’s affecting me emotionally, mentally and I feel so depressed. Sometimes I feel that my son is the only thing that keeps me going. This comes in waves, and every wave is different. I just miss him so much and it makes me paranoid that I have to go through grief again at somepoint in my life.

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losing a dear old dad who loved and supported you is the most profound and tragic thing in adult life. one day, you are “ok.” I am ten years after dad and miss him in more ways than one. it is so hard … so you just have to go with the waves of grief. go slowly. grief has its way with us. all we can do is live it.

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Hi Sophia, I feel for you. I understand what you’re going through because it’s very similar to my experiences. It is a very difficult time, and I, too, have experienced the waves. It can be as simple as song lyrics or remembering something that we used to do together that triggers the waves. I also have feelings of guilt because I hadn’t seen my grandma since the pandemic, and because I only saw my dad twice when I went home (to attend my grandma’s funeral) before he passed away too less than 2 months later. It’s good that we’re able to talk about it though. I think having this as another source of support helps. Are you able to get support from family or friends too?

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I’m sorry to hear your going through similar experiences as myself. I have family support and we do talk about my dad a lot. Sometimes I just feel that they dont truly understand what I feel like and when i’m upset I often get asked ‘whats wrong’. I often fee like saying you should know whats wrong!! Xx

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It’s good you have support from your family. That’s so true (about them not understanding how we feel). Sometimes, I end up saying “I’m fine” even though I’m not, just to avoid talking about it. I also feel like there’s really no need for me to explain myself whenever people ask about how I feel. However, it can be tricky because they wouldn’t know that I need support if I don’t say so. I’m still trying to find the balance when it comes to this.

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