Losing a parent

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I’m really at a loss and not sure where to turn!! I lost a parent in November, they was diagnosed with cancer stage 4 aggressive! We were then told they had months but it turns out just over a week!! My parent came home and we did everything to make them comfortable. I stayed every night and day to help. When they passed we were all there and it was the hardest day of my life!! Me and my sibling have not been able to grieve properly as my other parent has hit rock bottom and we feel we are too busy worrying about them to be able to grieve. We have tried to approach the situation but they say they haven’t got a problem and it’s us with the problem. Even to the extent of having my parents ashes sat on there arm chair and we are not allowed to move them, the parent is also sat talking to the ashes and doing very irrational things. We feel like we have lost both parents at the moment and don’t know what to do. We both have young children and are trying to be strong for them too!

Please tell me my parent will pull themselves out of this deep hole as I’m not sure me and my sibling can carry on treading on egg shells? I just want to grieve for my other parent but feel like I can’t as am babysitting for the other parent.

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Hello @Dotty4,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of one of your parents. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

You might also want to look at Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex