Im here again 8 months and 2 weeks since my dear husband passed away its the 1st easter without him i feel there is no point anymore i got a new job as money wasn’t supporting me i dont think are ever like any job like i had i hate the times and hours i do and am starting another job in a week and i loved my old job and have asked my lodgers to leave. As im writing this i am in the country side by a church. I feel that counciling is not for me its not gonna bring my husband home or dad my children dont even think what im going though.i have come out of the house as i cant stop thinking and crying about my husband. I wake up when i do sleep and think about hubby and dad and when im at work as i drive im crying i wish i didn’t have to work so i dont have to see anyone and pretend im ok i wish i just wish i could go to sleep and not wake up then i would be with my hubby and see my dad but mum is still here thank god so i have to be here for her.i feel my life is over. My hubby said i would be able to get on with my life but i cant i feel if i do that i will forget him i will never go with anyone eles i will never do that he is my soulmate i miss him so much i cant even go and see the doctors for anythink and i dont cook i dont see the point. My hubby loved my sunday roast especially the roast potatoes. I just wish we could be togeather. I love him so much life is to short i hate the way he went out of this world i wish i could of done something for him i hate the fact that lung and brain cancer took his life
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Hello @Donna23 ,
I was so sorry to read about your husband. That is devastating - the way you are feeling is completely understandable.
There’s always someone out there to help you through this. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts during their grief journey. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
If you do feel these suicidal thoughts or feelings get too much, you can reach out to one of the following organisations who are always just a call or text away anytime you would like someone to talk to:
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline here.
- If you’re worried you’re going to hurt yourself, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.
You might also want to look at our Grief Guide, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief.
Do take care - keep reaching out,
Alex