My wife died 6.5 months ago . I go to the cemetery where her ashes are after being cremated and I put flowers there every Sunday and tell her how much I love her and give her news of what is happening in the family. It makes me sad every visit and I wonder if it is doing more harm than good ? I come away feeling more lost and lonely because I miss her so much. We were married for 56 years and her birthday is on Christmas day.
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Hi @curly80,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your wife. It sounds like visiting your wife at the cemetery, putting flowers there every Sunday and telling her the latest news is a meaningful way to feel connected to her, even if it brings up loneliness and sadness. Many people on this community will be able to relate to that conflict of wanting a way to stay close to your loved one, while also finding it difficult to cope with the feelings that come afterwards.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Harriet
It broke my heart reading your Post. I lost my wife in December 2024, we had been married 48 years and I miss her every minute of every day.
I certainly don’t think you should stop visiting the cemetery and taking flowers because it brings you comfort.
Have you ever considered that perhaps your wife’s spirit is with you all the time? I talk to my wife all day and every day, because although I’ve lost my partner and best friend she is also my soulmate and I firmly believe our souls are together as much now as they ever have been.
It’s all a question of faith I suppose but it’s worth being awake to the little signs that might suggest she’s close. For instance quite often when I go into the bedroom I can detect my wife’s favourite perfume. I’ve checked everywhere for a leaking perfume bottle but haven’t found it. The perfume is very fleeting, there one second gone the next, just as if she has walked through the room.
Keep up your Sunday visits but just consider the possibility she might come home with you as well.
Hello Curly80, so very sorry for the loss of your wife. I lost my husband of 35 years in March of this year. I also have my husbands ashes in the cemetery, I still have not gone to visit him there. Both our children have gone to visit 
, but I have not. I plan to go soon. I feel no connection to the cemetery, i strongly believe that he really isn’t there . I feel better at home, the home we shared for 35 years, i feel closer to him there. I sit in his recliner, listen to our favorite music, and I talk to him. .. i don’t think hed want me visiting the cemetery too often. Take care of yourself and may God bless you 
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